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Wife just sent me a text asking "What scares you most about my feelings for OM?"
How the hell do I answer that?
See thread "I don't know what to do anymore..."
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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I had not time to read you thread, however:
If you are in plan B you should not answer. If she is still living with you, why is she texting you about this?
blessing
atena
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Quick update:
Asked her "Why?"
WW: "I want to understand what your feelings are on OM...."
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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I had not time to read you thread, however:
If you are in plan B you should not answer. If she is still living with you, why is she texting you about this?
blessing She is not living with me, staying a hotel. OM is CT we're in OH. Still in Plan A.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Was thinking of responding with "He's impeding on our attempt to return love and passion to our marriage."
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Posts: 192
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Was thinking of responding with "He's impeding on our attempt to return love and passion to our marriage."
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Posts: 1,769
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I am confused as why you are not in plan B since you are separated now.
Anyway, I would not answer. DO NOT answer her.
This is not about R this is her wanting to know how you feel about a scum bag. Is there anything to answer about something like that.
Be above it all. Do not go down to her level.
blessing
atena
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"OM is only a symptom of what happened in our M. He's irrelevant to us. What I care about is making a new M for us in which we'll both be happy and in love with each other."
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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How the hell do I answer that? You don't
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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I agree again,,,DO NOT ASWER!
atena
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You're in Plan A, and she asked a direct question.
Which you don't answer directly ("I hate his guts and most days want to choke the life out of him" is a BIG NO-NO!!!), but instead use as an opportunity to call attention to the fact that you have a plan for marital recovery.
There is hope that the two of you can fall in love with each other again, there is hope that you can recover your M even from this. That's what you want her to hear from you any time she brings the subject up.
OM is nothing.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I <3 Neak.
> OM is nothing.
Right on times about a bajillion.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Went with Neak's suggestion....Here's her response, is it time for Plan B???
"What bothers me Is that you are choosing to believe that my feelings for OM aren't real instead of the possibility that they are real theres a chance I would choose happiness that I feel with OM over the happinness we've shared. I want the chance to meet andrew in person and see if the feeling we shared via phone/aim/txt is real when in person. Or if its just a cover feelings that I've lost from you and our marriage. And I can't determine that unless I meet him face to face, or I will always be wondering what if. I don't expect you to undertand any of this, I'm just trying to express my honest feelings with you on what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling."
Last edited by Tresmal; 01/20/10 01:52 PM.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Posts: 8,344
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That's what she wrote, but this is what she SAID:
"I want my cake, now. I'm going to hold my breath until I turn purple and butterflies pop outta my a$$ until you let me see my stolemeat. So there."
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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No more texts. If she brings it up again, tell her that's nice and offer a cookie. I would refuse to talk about POSOM from here on out.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Well at least I have a record of her infidelity now. That will be usefull if this heads to the big D....
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
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I don't know if this is going to be of any value...but I have a strong gut feeling (and when I get those I am usually right) that it will not work out between your W and andrew...and she will be back to you. Then you have to decide if you want such an immature, selfish woman for a wife.
blessing
atena
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oooppsss
Last edited by Tresmal; 01/20/10 01:59 PM.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
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>Then you have to decide if you want such an immature, selfish woman for a wife.
He has that choice now.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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One, I'm about ready to text her the following:
"That's just being selfish."
So my real question is, do I implement Plan B now?
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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