Started reading it last night.

Effective Marriage Counseling

From Chapter 1

Not light reading for everyone...

Mark

I have started reading it too, good stuff!

I can see how it might be helpful for Mark in his church class, or for any other counselor, but for couples, wouldn't "His Needs, Her Needs" be better?

Retread,

You are absolutely right about that. Dr. Harley's new book discusses his model for counseling as well as his theories regarding how romantic love is created and/or destroyed. It is geared toward those who wish to use his theories in counseling couples to restore, repair and maintain their marriages.

There are no real DIY sections in this book. It does not address those looking for a way to fix their own marriage but from what I have read so far, does a good job of challenging marital therapists to monitor and evaluate the methods they have been using while offering his methods as an alternative and providing them with a way to test for success or failure.

I found it interesting that a side-bar in the book appears to be an answer to a question that he addressed here on the forums within the last year.

The book also references the questionnaires from this site including the new ones that appeared in recent days, the Marital Problem Analysis and Marital Counseling History. If counselors begin using this book as a starting point and start using Dr Harley's methods and theories to help couples restore lost love, we might just see a turn around in that dismal percentage of success for marriage therapy.

I'm just over half way through the book so far and I have gained some insight into why certain approaches and techniques on these forums work better than some other approaches when greeting, advising and addressing newcomers.

I'll do a book report when I'm done and have time to think about it a bit if y'all would like.

The book is not for the masses. It is not written for DYIers.

Mark

Sort of like David Schnarch's book, "Passionate Marriage", being for the layman or DIYer, and for the therapist; while his original book, "The Sexual Crucible", is all about his research, theories, and approach, for other PhDs. (I have never even seen a copy of it, but I did read "Passionate Marriage" - interesting, but too psychoanalytical, and requires a therapist to guide the process.)

Marriage Builders is much simpler, much better, and covers more than just one aspect of marriage.

Read the book, "The Exceptional Seven Percent", for something totally positive, about The Relationship Pathway from ordinary to exceptional marriages.

I think it would be wonderful if the Harleys could actually create a sort of institute or educational program for counselors that upon completion, they would receive a MB certified 'diploma' of sorts. Then said counselor could promote that to his clientele. H and I are done with local marriage counselors..we are making great progress with Steve but can really only afford to speak to him on a bi-monthly basis. Or even a monthly basis. A marriage builders weekend is out of the budget at the moment, though a goal at some point.

However, if I knew we had a MB certified counselor (personally certified through such a course or series of classes designed BY THE HARLEYS), who practiced these basic concepts and used the materials, I would be willing to try to see someone locally.

Me! I would like a report, including this insight you speak of.

I read, probably in a very old thread that I was pursuing, that the Harleys DID start such a training programme and did train at least one person. I think it was said that they do not want to train people any more, because people will insist on making minor adapations based on what THEY really believe. This doesn't work, and gives the Harley programme a bad name.

CWMI,

You quoted me and addressed Mel.

???

I was actually reading something last night and thought of your situation, but haven't had time to come up with the right application for you.

Mark

I think she said Me!...(exclamation point). At least, that's the way it looks on my computer screen.

I said Me !

Take your time, I value any thought you have to our situation, especially if it is in line with MB.

I really look forward especially to your thoughts on the new manual. We start our new couples group next week. I'm not leading, but I would still like to have the resource.

Sorry, looked like "Mel" on the little screen this morning...

Of course that was before I had twelve cups of coffee.

What materials are you using in your couples group?

Mark