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#2473858 02/08/11 04:38 PM
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An effective tool in getting all the truth is to set up an appointment with polygraph tester and tell your WS a day or two beforehand. Hand him/her a list of questions and give him an opportunity to come clean before the test. [don't give into the temptation to cancel the test, though! many waywards will trickle just enough truth in the hopes of getting you to cancel it]

Here is a registry of polygraph testers nationwide who are licensed members of the American Polygraph Testers:

Membership Directory

Dr. Harley's radio clip about polygraph testing

Last edited by Fireproof; 06/21/12 10:13 AM. Reason: adding link at OP request

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I had my W take a polygraph. Key things I learned.

1. Keep test to 2/3 questions - no more. The fewer the questions the more accurate the results.

2. Word questions broadly. Instead of "did you (WS) have PA with OP?" ask.... Have you (WS) had any romantic/sexual interaction with any OP since you have been married to T10??

3. Understand that tester will go over the meaning of key words many times with subject before the official recorded test is taken. In case of my W, romantic/sexual was defined/asked many times. My W knew this meant internet, in person, on phone, by smoke signal, whatever. And sexual/romantic was any thoughts words, deeds, touches, hugs held too long...really thorough job by tester. The point is, good testers will make sure there is no wiggle room for interpretation so that results are more certain.

Cost for my test was $500.

T10


Me: BH 50
W: 43
DD 12
DD 10
EA Exposed / D Day: 4-30-2010
W strongly disputes / denies EA - thats the problem
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Thanks for the feedback!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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From schoolbus:

Quote:
I have been present at over 2,500 polygraph examinations. I do have some measure of experience. The fact is that IF your issues with memory are true, and you have difficulty distinguishing what happened from what you "think" happened, the polygraph could give bad results. For example, if you BELIEVE you had sex with one man but did not with another, and you are asked that question, it would come up as not-deceptive.

However, if you BELIEVE you had sex with one man and did not with another, and the actual physical reality is that you had sex with TEN MEN, the polygraph would have no way of knowing that. It tests only what the tested person "knows" inside to be true - it does not, and cannot, illuminate memories of real facts to the test taker.


It is clear that results are tied to actual memory. So, if there are memory blanks or any memory confusion in the tested person then the poly won't catch it.

It would be nice to know how many folks have real memory loss. In my W's poly she had one question where her answer was "I don't remember". So, if she could not truly remember, then could it be that she is unconsciouly blocking out the memory? Could she be so afraid, disgusted with herself, or in denial that she could block out her memory like this? A very scary thought in my situation.


I hope schoolbus sees this and can provide more info on this subject.


Me: BH 50
W: 43
DD 12
DD 10
EA Exposed / D Day: 4-30-2010
W strongly disputes / denies EA - thats the problem
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It would be really useful if those who used polygraph testers posted their questions here. Every so often we get a thread in SaA where the poster wants to know what questions to get the polygrapher to ask. We could direct them here.

I understand that they would ask certain questions if you know there has been a PA and you want to know whether there is still contact, and different questions if the WS claims that there was only an EA. Then there are questions to ask a serial offender, and no doubt others for different situations.

If you have used a poygrapher, please post your questions here!


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I used one this week, horrible day.

tester will go over the meaning of key words many times with subject before the official recorded test is taken. In case of my W, romantic/sexual was defined/asked many times. My W knew this meant internet, in person, on phone, by smoke signal, whatever. And sexual/romantic was any thoughts words, deeds, touches, hugs held too long-

they define all the possible meanings so there is no gray area

Questions

Are you deliberately concealing information about any other relationship you have had with anyone.

Are you intentionally withholding any other information about any other relationships you had with anyone

Are you purposely withholding information about any other relationships you have had with anyone.

that was decided once i had received the full list of all indescretions, one week before test.

dont make the threat of an appointment, schedule one and dont waiver on going, you will see what comes out.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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These were Qs schoolbus had written for a BS whose WH admitted to an EA but not PA (I think) The thread was lost in the crash of '09.

My sister left these Qs on the kitchen table for her WH after telling him she had scheduled a poly. Shortly therafter he confessed his EA was, in fact, a PA.

Quote:
schoolbus: Re: FWH Goes Back On His Promise
My questions:

1. Have you ever, at any time, in any place, during the entire course of your marital relationship, touched another woman's body in a manner that your wife would object to if she were to have caught you doing it?

2. Has your mouth ever sexually touched any part of another woman's body during your marriage?

3. Has your P ever touched any part of another woman's body during your marriage?

4. Has another woman's mouth ever touched any part of your body below the waist during the marriage?

5. Has another woman's hand or body part ever touched any part of your body......etc.

No wiggle room.



Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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I just posted (Polygraph Help) on the SAA forum and I was referred here.

I hope someone can help me tweak my questions on the link above.

I am very nervous at going through this but it needs to happen especially that my #1 EN is O&H. I compare it to going through surgery, it needs to happen even if I'm nervous.


Me: BS/FWW - 38
BH/FWH - 36
Married 13 years, together 17 years
Two boys: 9 & 12
OW#1 DDay: PA Nov 26, 2009 (July 2008-July 2009)
OW#2 DDay: PA Nov 29, 2009 (May 2009-Sept 2009)

Me: EA/PA (RA?) June 2010-Sept 2010
His DDay: Oct 2010
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"Anyway, I gave the polygrapher (sp?) some questions to ask but he said he can't ask SPECIFIC questions and only going to ask BROAD questions. Has anybody encountered this situation? The following are some of my questions:

-Are/is there any more other women (other than OW1 & OW2) before, during and after d-day?
-If so, how many and what are their names?
-Have you gotten any sexually transmitted diseases from your infidelities?
-Has there been contact with any other women since January 2010?
-Were you in a relationship with OW2 prior to May 2009? (I think I was gaslighted on this one and their relationship started way before)
-Did you have sex other than myself in the our marital home?

Are they solid enough? Is there anything I can add to the above?"

yes this is normal

are you taking a single issue test? you will not get names, sorry....

Are/is there any more other women (other than OW1 & OW2) before, during and after d-day?
- good one broad ( not like the woman) how about before 2009- when you think you were lied to?

as for #3 get him tested.

if he passes, say thank you and is there anything else, like did you have sex in my house?

he will tell you it is emotional nakedness. use the time with no, no, no anger to get what you need to heal.

he is doing it thats a good sign, who would if they were lying?


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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Thank you so much for replying chickadee!

It's good to know that this is normal protocol for polygraphs.

Schoolbus from the SAA forum suggested a very good iron clad question for question 2.

As for Q3, we both got tested several times. I am more concerned about this question before we got married but already a couple.

Thanks about the tip on AO, I'm not much into that but I'll have to be very sensitive about this on Friday.

Since I'll most likely take my own test, I will be able to understand more about 'emotional nakedness'.

My H seems very sure of himself that he will pass this test and has disclosed everything to me. I'm not confident he will past all of the questions. I'll give him a chance to come clean either tomorrow or Thursday and still willing to give him a chance other than basically question 1 & 2.

I think he has disclosed mostly everything to me during the first two months. Probably more than I should know. I asked him any questions and he answered. So much details about their sexual acts that will eternally embedded in my brain. I don't know why I asked those questions, they just got me more aggravated about being betrayed.

Still, there's still that nagging feeling of half truths.

I'll tell you how it went on Friday.

That reminds me, I never took it but my doctor prescribed lorazepam after my d-day and I should bring it with me, just in case. It's almost two years old and probably expired but I might need it this time around.


Me: BS/FWW - 38
BH/FWH - 36
Married 13 years, together 17 years
Two boys: 9 & 12
OW#1 DDay: PA Nov 26, 2009 (July 2008-July 2009)
OW#2 DDay: PA Nov 29, 2009 (May 2009-Sept 2009)

Me: EA/PA (RA?) June 2010-Sept 2010
His DDay: Oct 2010
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Originally Posted By: Wise1
Originally Posted By: Lgtex1

Out of curiosity, what are your questions?

On May 7, 2012, I started a list of questions that I wanted my H to answer.
They were "Yes" "No" questions.
On Monday, July 23, 2012, I gave my H the list of "31" questions.
I told him on Monday that he would be asked no more than "5" of the 31 questions.
I told him that no more than "5" questions (out of the 31)that he would be asked would be revealed just prior to the examination.
This morning, before I left for work, my H circled his "Yes" "No" answers to all 31 questions.
To be clear, I reiterated that he would be asked no more than "5" of the 31 questions at his examination.
When we got to the designated place for the examination, the PE asked me which "5" questions I would like to ask my H.
H gave his questionnaire with his "Yes" "No" answers to the polygrapher.
I told the PE I had only "One" question that I wanted him to ask my H... Which was:
#31) After answering all of the questions above, have you given a false answer to any of them?
"Yes" "No"

H had circled "No"...
H's answer did NOT show deception...
H and I are finally at "START"!






FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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edited because posted in wrong thread

Last edited by BlindSighted2013; 10/26/13 09:28 AM.

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We never knew that it could be this good! smile
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Please ignore, oh dear, I thought that I had my thread open lol...going to my thread now.


DDays - six months of them
THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders.
We never knew that it could be this good! smile
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Has anyone done the voice stress analysis test, it's a voice polygraph done over the phone?

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Has anyone here who had their WS polygraph ws had the polygraph confirm the version their WS gave them?

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I just had a reliable source tell me the voice analysis test is unreliable in answer to the previous poster

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Originally Posted By: LOLO60
Has anyone here who had their WS polygraph ws had the polygraph confirm the version their WS gave them?

I have read at least two stories here where that happened. I wish I could remember the threads, but I can't.

Has that happened to you? Would you care to start a thread here, in the forum Surviving an Affair?


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No I was just curious

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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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bump


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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