My WW has been talking to a few guys from her dating site.
They have progressed to chat messenger...
cybersex talk, exchanging pics...

She has sent pics of her in lingerie &
close ups of her v_gina, nipple, etc

This has been going on for the past 3-4 weeks.


Then last night I got a text from her.
It was jumbled some from the transmission but this is what it said:

[receiving text]d, until I get a travel assignment?? I will be moving to nights in about 3-4 weeks. We wouldn't see much of each other that way...if that's what you w[receiving text] the same time. You know I still love you. I hate that you're in a hotel right now. I'd rather have you home.


Well, I have been snooping on her. She is still engaged in talking to guys via chat, etc.

I've read some of her previous correspondance. She says that she is no longer in love with me....that she didnt love me enough to have a child with...etc.


My thought is that now that she is having to pay the full house mortgage, she is seeing how hard it is.
She wants me back so that I help pay it until she can leave.



http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2657694&page=1

Jeff_R,

You know I still love you. I hate that you're in a hotel right now. I'd rather have you home.

Thankfully you found MB and learned how to avoid WWs snares, your WW is utterly remorseless and would have no problem dragging this out until the mortgage was paid off.

God Bless
Gamma

I texted her back asking her to resend or email me.

-------

As my persona that she as cybersexed with....I sent her a message saying that I was in town, that if she wanted, we could meet up.


She responded to the persona..
"Oh really?? I'm at work today....won't get off until 7:30"

She emailed me this:

It doesn't look like I will be able to get a travel position until late Oct or Nov. Would you be willing to move back in and co-habitate, if needed, until I get a travel assignment?? I will be moving to nights in about a 3-4 weeks. We wouldn't see much of each other that way...if that's what you would want. I figure we could work on building a friendship in that time too. Think about it....I think it would be difficult, but maybe easier at the same time. You know I love you. I hate that you're in a hotel right now. It might work better to have you at home. It's just an idea. My options are very limited with having Leah...I can't live at my parents house. I can only live in an apartment or our house. I plan on having Maisey put down some time before I travel. Like I said...just think about it.

Love, Susan



She responded to the persona as well:

How long are you staying?? I have to work tomorrow too...

You should probably enlist Dumbledore and Gandalf to cooperate to cast a spell to reform your WW's behavior.

(Seriously, dude, you didn't even ask for help this time - not that you've followed the advice before - so what exactly is the point to your note?)

I know, I know.

I'm either not moving back or moving back & she has to move out.

I thought about using my knowledge as leverage to getting her to pay half the mortgage.

your knowledge of what?
and why would that make her pay hundreds of $$$?
sounds like blackmail.

UPDATE 9/4/12

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ub...2657694&page=1


My Wayward Wife (WW) sent me an email last week asking that I move back home, that she missed me & still loved me. She also said that it didnt mean that we were getting back together.
But basically, she needed help paying the mortgage for the house.

I then decide to make an appt with a counselor & I invite her to join me. After I get there, she shows up too.
We talk with the counselor about what has happened.
She admits that she had "innappropriate texts" with a guy she knows from facebook.
I know from reading those texts, that is was way more than that. It included phone calls, video calls, etc...They masturbated together via video, etc.


Ok. So the counselor says that we can work on things.... That we need to exclude any opposite sex connections. She agress.

Our counselor appt was on Thursday evening. We talk via messenger chat that night for a few hours. We talk about what she needs for me to change, and about us moving away & starting over in a bigger city.

Friday night, we went out to dinner & came back home. She cries for about 30 minutes or so....I held her during....she says "sorry" to me.

Saturday, she sees a commercial for a mattress store & we go check it out on Sunday. We go shopping for groceries & other household items.

Sunday & Monday - We go to the bed store & she falls in love with a $6000 mattress. She wants a new one b/c of her back pain.


-------------------------------

Well my WW has been on 3 or 4 dating sites since I found out about her "innappropriate texts". She signed up at the dating sites 2 weeks after I left our house.

These dating sites send emails out whenever one gets a message or interest from someone else.

So far, from my snooping since the counselors appt, she has read the emails that deal with the dating sites. The rest of her emails from JCPenny, Phone Bill, etc go unread.
I would guess that she has supposedly gone to the dating website to look at the profiles of who sent them to her.
Also since the counselor appt, she has not sent any email messages or yahoo messenger chats to any of these guys she met on the dating site either.

So it appears that she is trying to abide by the counselors wishes.

-----------------------

This morning, I snoop on her & see that she has forwarded an email to herself at a gmail account. I think this is odd.
She is forwarding an email from the "inappropriate texts" guy that she received this morning from him.

He sent this to her this morning.
"I hope all is well with you. Sucks to be forgotten about already but it's completely understandable. I needed a few days to wrap my head around everything. I hope everything does change how you need it to. I'm still hurt but I will get over it eventually. Just stayed drunk all weekend. It just hurt alot when I was waiting for the train and you didn't call, then I remembered everything. You will always have a piece of my heart. Have a great day. James"

From what I gather, she has been calling him every morning before she goes off to work at 6:45am or so.

Her response is this:

James, I am sooo sorry for the way this has all happened. I cried...no, I bawled my eyes out all Friday night...for hurting you...missing you. I was very close to calling you this morning, but didn't think you'd want to hear from me, plus I didn't want to be a mess coming into work today. I think about you all the time. I wish I could see you making goofy faces for me again. :-). I hate that you stayed drunk all weekend...I'm sorry. I'm resentful that I can't keep you as a friend. You will always be a friend to me. I miss you. I'd like to check in every now and then by gmail...I want to know how you're doing. I do love you...you're a wonderful person. I could go on and on, but I need to get back to work...

Hope to hear from you,
Susan


He responses back:

"You can message when ever. What hurt the most this weekend was yesterday when I logged on Skype to talk to my sister and saw your pic and that you deleted your status. That stung alot. I know it was needed to be done. Well break is over work is hectic. You have a great day. James"

----------------------------------


So I guess the crying wasn't for me after all.

I made a dating site persona so I could contact my WW & see what the real truth was about me,us & what went on.

While using my dating site persona & asked her about her affair. She said that it was over & that the guy was annoying. He wasn't her type, etc.

I can't figure her out. She cheats on me with a guy that she got reacquainted with from facebook.
She then signs up (pays for a membership to one) to 3 dating sites. She talks to several guy on there....sending them pics of her in lingerie, close ups of her v_gina, etc.
She also engages in cyber sex talk with a few of the guys.



I wondering what is the real truth.
I am going to reveal to the counselor the email exchange above & see what he says. I really think she needs some sort of psychological treatment.
I have no clue what this woman is right now. My family is wanting me to divorce her right now. I am going to try to endure for another month or so.

I've texted a few times today & have talked to her on the phone while she is at work. Small talk, figuring out what type of pizza she wants for tonight.

This weekend we are planning to going to Atlanta to look for places to live, figure out the neighborhoods, etc.

glutton.for.punishment.

This woman is not marriage material.

I don't quite get why you are telling us about the $6000 mattress.

Jeff,

First, please click the "notify" button and ask the moderators to merge your threads. You're losing your faithful followers when you make new threads.

Second, please, for all that is holy in this world, DO NOT BUY ANOTHER HOUSE WITH THIS WOMAN!



Third, you don't need a $6,000 mattress. She's throwing you a bone here to make you think that she's interested in staying so that you'll back down, pay the rent, or whatever it is she wants.

Fourth, I'd file for a divorce. This woman is a lousy wife and would make, by default, a horrendous mother.

Holy cow, I'm just at a loss for words on this one.

Jeff_R,

For the sake of your sanity run from this WW and never turn back to look at her Medusa head!

Let me ask you this, if your Son came home and told you his girlfriend did to him what your WW did to you, what would you demand he do?

A $6000 dollar mattress, my God this WW is a monster.

One other point is that your WW is a nurse, I think I read, and I can't imagine such a WW in a socially intense occupation where infidelity is assumed to be a fringe benefit.

God Bless
Gamma

I am so with NW on this one.

RUN JEFF RUN, and repeat 500 gazillion times.

Having been in your situation twice Jeff, I understand the longings and the desire to hold on. But please, for your own self-respect, really think about this. If you had grown kids, and this exact same situation were happening to one of them, what would your advice be to them? It helped me to step back and look at things this way. You sound like a nice guy that could have a fine relationship with a wonderful woman some day when you heal from this. Find your backbone, and do what needs to be done.

winndixie, how are things with you? How did you go to divorce so fast after posting here in the spring? Who filed? Is he with OW? perhaps you could update your own thread?

I love that hour wife's boyfriend James stayed drunk all weekend heartbroken over her.
The truth is he's probably drunk all te time anyways. Now he just gives a romantic reason for being a drunken bum.

My wife left me for a drug addict felon.
I think she and your wife would be good friends.

My wife's boyfriend threatened suicide and depression when confronted.

You can work the MB program and try to fix some people, or just say good riddance and wash your hands of these morons.

I understand the idea that I should run away from her.

One of the reasons I am staying in the house with her, is that I'm trying to get our house sold. We are underwater by $30-35k, so we'll have to pay this difference. My hope is to hurry this along by saying that we will move to Atlanta & start a new life.

I'm also trying to get some sense of emotional distance from her at the same time. My dislike for her grows daily. I am killing her with kindness right now.

Yes, she has some very big issues. I do think she is a narcissist. She lack empathy, extremely selfish, wants grand things in life (hence the expensive mattress - tempur-pedic), etc.

Yes I know I made a mistake in marrying such a woman.

I feel the last 8 years have been a waste of time:

1) 4 years ago She had innappropriate conversations with 2 men at the same time. She says she was trying to get the 'male perspective' on our marriage problems. We were going to counseling at the time anyway.

2) She believes in this notion "a happy wife is a happy life". That if the wife is happy, then the rest of the family (husband) will get happiness. That if I make her happy first, she'll then try to make me happy. I dont buy into this at all.

3) She really never has met any of my emotional needs. I have asked her to lose weight before we got married. She needs to lose about 70 lbs. This had never happened.

4) She uses manipulation & intimidation to complain about how I have not met her emotional needs. One of those 'needs' is that I need to change my social personality...I am an introvert...she wants someone who can adapt to any situation even if it is unfamiliar.

5) She can not have any biological children.

6) She cheated on me with a guy she knew 12 years ago. This guy lives 1000 miles away from us, above Chicago. She tells him one thing & then tells the dating site guys that he is annoying. So who knows what the truth is.

There are many more issues that make me think of her as vile & evil as well.

She must have met some, surely, for you to have married her.

Unless you married her at gunpoint, or for money...