Agreed!

Yes, it does take fog to clear and for the WS to "get it" in the early days of NC, in particular a WH generally should show remorse and be on bended knee.

If he is not, that is a
The comment about not contacting OW's BH was also a very big
Next, being guarded with the phone?

I am sorry to say I don't think the affair is over yet

Have you considered exposing to OW's FB contacts? Maybe OW's BH should do the same to your WH.

I too see all the red flags. My husband signed the no contact letter and I am going to put it in the mail now.

Hello, I wanted to give you a quick update that I tried to use facebook to send messages and it won't allow me to send directly it will go in the persons "other folder" I remembered seeing on here you could pay to send messages but I googled to get info and that was just a trial and now the only way it will go to their inbox is if you are friends or have any mutual friends.

Looks like it is still working. (I just searched for someone randomly)

I had to click the blue "See More" words to get the option to pop up.

Just checked!! NOT on my facebook!!! Maybe I need to try and make a new facebook account. Mine just says

Your message will go to XXXXXX Other folder because you aren't connected to her on Facebook.

stops there no see more in blue

Are you on a PC or mobile site? I believe it only shows on a PC.

I am on a PC and I tried sending on an iphone and the message did not come up. How do I know if I am sending from the phone it is not going into the 'other' message box

LimeFlamingo, are you signed in to Facebook with your account?

I just signed on with mine, through Firefox, using a Mac desktop, and the blue "See More" link is there.

That will only pop up if you do this on a computer. It won't work if you are on a mobile device.

It won't work on a phone. The message will just go to their spam box.

So then the Facebook expose route will not work for me because it will go in spam sent from phone and my Facebook account dosent have the blue show more to click and pay to send.

I've noticed that people I am not friends with but who I DO share a mutual friend with (a friend of a friend) do not have the option to pay. So I assume these messages do not go to spam.

Are you mutual friends with these people? That may be why you don't see the "Show More" link.

I'd do it on a PC one by one and if it doesn't tell you it's going to the "Other" folder then assume it's good. Otherwise pay the $1.

I am not mutual friends with any of these people, I am trying from a PC and I am not getting the option to pay $1. I am going to try and make another facebook page now and see if that helps. Thanks everyone!!!!!

You are trying to do this from an actual PC? I am confused..

Are you doing it from the actual webpage or is it on a facebook app on your PC?

sorry for all the confusion. I am trying to do this from the actual webpage on my PC. I also tried on my phone.

Hello Everyone! So much has happened in such a short amount of time. My husband asked for a "temporary separation" To basically find himself and see if he even wants to work on our marriage. From what I can tell no contact is still intact.

He moved out on Wed eve and will be getting more of his things tomorrow. He will be living at his dad's about an hour away. We have been to counseling together 4 times and will be going again in two weeks. He wants the next month to run like a business relationship logistically, just checking in on crucial things like our kids etc. He will also let me know before he comes to our home. He has a home based business but for the most part it can be run remotely, however he came over today for supplies and said he will be coming back again this afternoon to pick up something else that he now needs. He wants to trade cars tomorrow so he can move more of his things and then trade back on Sunday.

Re-cap
First discovery- Dec 2012
told all contact was ended

Second discovery- Memorial weekend- I discovered a full blown affair that had been occurring since march 2013

Move out July 16, 2014

I am really having a hard time handling all of this. I feel so fooled and taken advantage of. He knew my intentions of working on myself and our marriage for a year and a half and he just dragged me along. I believed him 100% that all contact had ended, I would have bet my life on it. Now he says there were so many "wedges" in our marriage that he never expressed his true feelings and there are so many layers due to the affair that he doesn't know if he wants to work on our marriage.

I feel like a deer in headlights, which is why I have not posted in so long. I don't even know what to write now to express the pain and anxiety I am going through. Everything is a trigger, I cry at the drop of a hat, etc.

I am in individual counseling and thank God have been since first discovery. I know I have a lot of work to continue doing but I am proud at how far I have come and grown.

He really down plays his year and a half full blown relationship. I have hundreds of emails between him and OW and the ones that I have read shows that he was in that relationship up to his forehead.

I would appreciate any experts advice on how handle the next month from my side. Do I ever send a "just because" text or do I go all the way little contact as possible.

Help!!! I feel so hurt and confused. I really need to detach and focus.

Thank you!!!
Peace

LF:

Did you ever expose properly?

Your husband is cake-eating. The A is still ongoing. Why do you think there is no contact presently?

Hello catwhit! Yes I did expose properly. I have snooped like crazy, and the OW husband has confirmed no contact. I hate feeling like I am invading the OW husbands privacy, he doesn't want to know any details he told me " OW doesn't think I can handle it". I feel like I keep throwing the affair in his face each time I contact him.