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Or you could say: "Help Needed: OM and WW's Workplace Affair"
You are asking them for help to break it up.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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Rusty, I would title it "workplace affair between my wife and her boss."
But have you met with the attorneys yet and picked up the evidence?
What is the plan today?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Or you could say: "Help Needed: OM and WW's Workplace Affair"
You are asking them for help to break it up. Like the "help needed!!"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Rusty, I would title it "workplace affair between my wife and her boss."
But have you met with the attorneys yet and picked up the evidence?
What is the plan today? I am meeting with the attorney this afternoon and will hopefully get to view the evidence. Even if not, I think I have enough to go on (including, if need be, the test of the physical evidence) so I plan to expose this evening, while she is away from her phones with the kids for bedtime. I will call her parents, sisters and grandmother, the rest will just get the email. I will get info about the OMW and may call her tonight or, more likely tomorrow during the day. I am bracing for the response to the tsunami. I have no idea what will happen except for the fact that I will tell WW that I know, that I'm not moving out and I'm no longer sleeping in the basement (she can if she wants to). And I will remain calm, because I'm no longer "truth-seeking" as our therapist said, but I know the truth and nothing she can say can change that.
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Rusty, I would title it "workplace affair between my wife and her boss."
But have you met with the attorneys yet and picked up the evidence?
What is the plan today? I am meeting with the attorney this afternoon and will hopefully get to view the evidence. Even if not, I think I have enough to go on (including, if need be, the test of the physical evidence) so I plan to expose this evening, while she is away from her phones with the kids for bedtime. I will call her parents, sisters and grandmother, the rest will just get the email. I will get info about the OMW and may call her tonight or, more likely tomorrow during the day. I am bracing for the response to the tsunami. I have no idea what will happen except for the fact that I will tell WW that I know, that I'm not moving out and I'm no longer sleeping in the basement (she can if she wants to). And I will remain calm, because I'm no longer "truth-seeking" as our therapist said, but I know the truth and nothing she can say can change that. The emails are all drafted in my Gmail folder, all that remains is to hit "Send." The website is ready as well, I've had my family (who knows) look at it and they think it's effective without seeming petty or spiteful. I am sure WW will flip her lid when she realizes the extent of the people who know.. But that's the point, right? To shock her back into reality and out of the "fog." Hopefully she won't be able to run to OM since his wife should be on alert too.
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I don't think it's a good idea to wait until she is with the children in the evening. Do you have family close by to watch your kids?
And I think it would be more effective to send the nuke during work hours.
Last edited by black_raven; 10/28/14 11:11 AM.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Rusty, I would title it "workplace affair between my wife and her boss."
But have you met with the attorneys yet and picked up the evidence?
What is the plan today? I am meeting with the attorney this afternoon and will hopefully get to view the evidence. Even if not, I think I have enough to go on (including, if need be, the test of the physical evidence) so I plan to expose this evening, while she is away from her phones with the kids for bedtime. I will call her parents, sisters and grandmother, the rest will just get the email. I will get info about the OMW and may call her tonight or, more likely tomorrow during the day. I am bracing for the response to the tsunami. I have no idea what will happen except for the fact that I will tell WW that I know, that I'm not moving out and I'm no longer sleeping in the basement (she can if she wants to). And I will remain calm, because I'm no longer "truth-seeking" as our therapist said, but I know the truth and nothing she can say can change that. That sounds perfect. AS you can imagine, she will be furious. Just expect it and don't react. I want to emphasize your plan to expose to the OMW as soon as possible. She can be a valuable ally in the process.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I don't think it's a good idea to wait until she is with the children in the evening. Do you have family close by to watch your kids?
And I think it would be more effective to send the nuke during work hours. We are still in the same house so I am not worried about the kids once they go to sleep (around 8:15pm), she and I can discuss things. I imagine she will start getting a lot of phone calls and emails by then. I can't do it earlier because I'm meeting with the attorney before then.
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That sounds perfect. AS you can imagine, she will be furious. Just expect it and don't react. I want to emphasize your plan to expose to the OMW as soon as possible. She can be a valuable ally in the process. Yes, I am sure she will be furious. I will do my best not to react, I think it will be easier than our previous conversations because I know the truth and there's not much else she can say or do that will challenge that. The truth is liberating in that way. I will reach out to the OMW. I will try to get more info from her attorney as well, who I may meet today also.
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Is it One form letter e-mail that is being cc'd to all of the e-mail exposure contactz, or individualized single e-mail drafts?
I feel that the more people who know that others on the CC list will generate more cross talk and potential for them to step up on your marriages behalf.
Regardless though, get it done.
I too feel that exposure during her work hours would be better, as long as the company is on that immediate contact list without delay. Throw them into a work time frenzy before they can talk and spin it, although your exposure will preempt the majority of that. Only the foggy friends and enablers will fall for their spun version.
That way, she may not even come back home until very 'll ate, after she has time to think about the consequences of their actions.
HELP, My Wife Is Having An Affair With Her Supervisor/Boss
LTL
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Is it One form letter e-mail that is being cc'd to all of the e-mail exposure contactz, or individualized single e-mail drafts?
I feel that the more people who know that others on the CC list will generate more cross talk and potential for them to step up on your marriages behalf.
Regardless though, get it done. It's the same email but personalized for different groups (i.e. immediate family, extended family, various friends, etc.). But I like the advice to combine them some more so that people see others in the CC field. I'll think about it. Plus, less emails to send that way, but I don't want it to seem as more of a form-letter than it already is. I can't do the exposure during work hours until I wait till tomorrow and I don't think I can wait that long. The past 4 days waiting have already been excruciating.
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She explained it away by claiming that they were just friends, he was gay and came out to her (he's married with two kids) and that he's miserable because he can't come out to his family (very religious), etc. I hope you include this little nugget in the exposure. POSOM will probably not be happy with WW's cover story. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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She explained it away by claiming that they were just friends, he was gay and came out to her (he's married with two kids) and that he's miserable because he can't come out to his family (very religious), etc. I hope you include this little nugget in the exposure. POSOM will probably not be happy with WW's cover story. Good Catch. What about the exposure list for the POSOM? Did you scour his FB page? LTL
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She explained it away by claiming that they were just friends, he was gay and came out to her (he's married with two kids) and that he's miserable because he can't come out to his family (very religious), etc. I hope you include this little nugget in the exposure. POSOM will probably not be happy with WW's cover story. Yup, included on the website. 
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She explained it away by claiming that they were just friends, he was gay and came out to her (he's married with two kids) and that he's miserable because he can't come out to his family (very religious), etc. I hope you include this little nugget in the exposure. POSOM will probably not be happy with WW's cover story. Good Catch. What about the exposure list for the POSOM? Did you scour his FB page? LTL I don't have his info, because he has no FB page. All I have are their coworkers, who I'm not going to expose to for now, to give HR a chance to deal with it. (I don't want to seem like I'm being vindictive and blowing up their careers just to spite them). I will try to find out what OMW is going to do. She may do the exposure on his side.
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I will try to find out what OMW is going to do. She may do the exposure on his side. Rusty, I agree with your exposure plan and think it will be just fine if you do it tonight. When you speak to the OMW, that would be a good opportunity to ask for the OM parents contacts. Tell her you would to personally speak to them and ask for their assistance. It is very important that you get in touch with them. Hopefully, the OMW would be willing to share this information especially since this will benefit her too. You are doing great!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Are you exposing to the workplace today as well?
Do it all at once, otherwise the spin zone will get cranked up by your wayward and OM. They will paint you as crazy, liar, dangerous, etc.
Brace for the anger, she will be furious, have your VAR with you.
When the affairees get pushed into the corner, they might act like a caged animal. Police might be called, and all sorts of drama will begin.
Now your resolve will be tested to the limit, I am praying for you man.
Last edited by NebDane; 10/28/14 01:42 PM.
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Rusty, thinking of you and hoping you are doing well...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Exposure happened. She is furious. So far her family believed me but she is trying to spin this as me trying to destroy her life and framing her as having an affair. I am staying very calm.
Will keep updating.
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Of course she is, it is all a part of the wayward handbook. If she came to you calmly and told you how wonderful it was for you to spread the good news of her new relationship, it would be a FIRST around here.
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