Hey Mel, Hi Pep,
Just read this whole thread, thanks for bumping it.
You guys were discussing this in mid April,'06 ~> the very exact week that my H was beginning the phone sex part of his second EA. (He was confronted first by our 2 adult children June 30, '06 and then confessed to me, after he overcame his strong urge to commit suicide on the way to tell me.)
To answer your question from Dispair's thread, yes and no.
Yes, he was addicted to the person, hence the difficult withdrawal complicated by my retrusting him blindly and, uh, literally putting my head in the sand.
After we began reading MB books, I pulled my head out long enough to draw a line in that same sand when D-Day #4 happened.
I believe that the MB books we were reading must have impacted him, especially the parts about enduring withdrawal, which neither of us knew about. ( I didn't find and register for these forums until several weeks later.)
No, I do not believe he is addicted to having affairs in general, but he was very addicted to the high he got from lying in general and getting away with it. He says he learned to do it well from his mom. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It's a big part of the reason we had such a detached dysfunctional M for so many years.
Now that our tough MC is nailing him (it's been almost 3 months since a blatant lie....knock on wood), he seems to be starting to
get it.
Our struggles are detailed on the Recovery forum (Smiles & Trials 2) so if you see anything else on that thread that I/we should address, please let me know.
Again, thanks for bumping this thread and for asking.
Ace
