You fill your bottle/thermos at your tap at home. It goes right in the backpack with the peanut butter sandwiches. If you run out you refill at a water fountain or in the public bathroom.

Well, yes. Some people choose to do that, and they prepare in advance whenever they go out. NOT making these preparations is hardly a sign of depression, though.

More puzzling to me is what you are trying to say in relation to this poster's point about her husband's control of the family money. She was using drinks on a hot day as an example of how unreasonable he would be. Yes certainly, if she had packed drinks in refillable bottles she could have avoided that particular situation, but when she hadn't done this, and she asked her husband for money for their thirsty kids, he wouldn't give it to her. THAT is the point: how unreasonable he was even when the health and discomfort of his own kids was involved. What reasonable father, on learning that there was no water in a backpack for his kids to drink, refuses to buy them a drink?

Why have you not focused on that, which is the point of the whole thread, rather than chastising her for not packing drinks????

She might have forgotten the water bottles some days. They might have been out for longer than they thought. Even with a water bottle, I, for one, would never refill one in a public bathroom - the hygiene implications! There might not be a restaurant to ask for a free top up.

There might be any number of reasons that you don't know about why, on the day in question, this poster had no water for her kids - but she had her husband, and he had money and he would not give it to her.

That's the issue; not what a crap mother she is for not packing bottles.

They also sell water at almost every store, everywhere. The point is that her children were hot and needed water. There was absolutely no need for them to go without water.

I would never refill a water bottle in the first place. When you are out and about, you don't know the quality of the water. I don't even drink tap water at home.

This is just one example. We've been many places and took water bottles and/or other things to drink with us. But when it's hot the kids need something again; especially if out for a few hours. And there's not always water fountains around to use.

I am considering my options to divorce now or wait until the youngest is 18 (five more years).

Ok, so he has always had issues wth treating me like the money is HIS money; and not OUR money.

A little over two years ago he threatened to cancel full coverage on my car if I didn't give him the money for the insurance. That was the straw that broke the camel's back; and I've hated him ever since.

Water isn't free at a lot of outdoor events. Also, many times a water fountain was nowhere around. Had there been one I would have let them drink.

After almost two decades of dealing with his inability to give me a penny, I told him that I knew what the problem was when it come to money: "#1. I'm not worth anything to you; and #2. My opinions don't matter."

Don't fight with him, and don't offer analyses of why he does what he does.

That been a few years ago that I even said that. I guess I wanted him to know how his actions made me feel. I don't really care to let him know how I feel about anything anymore.

Stlyn have you listened to the Marriage Builders Radio show? Whether you want to go to Plan B immediately, wait a few years, or even if you change your mind and want to try to get your husband to turn around, Dr. Harley addresses situations like these all the time. I would suggest you become a daily listener - there is good advice and encouragement for you there. There is an app you can download to listen on your phone or tablet, and you can also listen on your PC.

You might even consider writing in to the show about your situation.

You go to the sink before you leave your house and fill a bottle, thermos, place in an ice chest. When thirsty enough room temp does not matter.

The issue of this poster's husband refusing to purchase the children a drink was just one example of the way he has refused to treat his wife as an equal partner. Even if this particular problem was solved by bringing water from home, the overarching problem is that her H insists that the money he makes is HIS and not hers to spend.

^^^^Exactly.

Styln,

Do you want to learn MB?

My point was not to justify this husbands actions. If you can not see my point I am at peace with that.

Correct, poor planning is not necessarily a sign of depression.



I brought up my children to believe that tap water is great stuff. However, all this is besides the point. Here is the real problem:



This is the elephant in the room.

How is it an elephant in the room, when she expressed the problem explicitly?

(And ended up being told off for not packing enough drinks.)

We must be sitting in different rooms.

If you are unwilling to work towards a romantic marriage then it will not happen. Even if you divorce him and find another husband, you will face the same issues...all revolving around showing mutual care through the Policy of Joint Agreement.