Have you noticed if he still updates the Q&A articles on the website?

He's on Ss retirement too, I'm sure he'd take the rv, Harley and his truck.
He wouldn't be able to pay here and not live here. He'd be fine

He wouldn't be allowed to just not support you during separation. Talk to a lawyer.

You can't keep going on and on over the years with a serial cheater ...

I can't live alone, handle 5 acres and farm. Plus I can not drive. We live out in the boonies. Add that i couldn't afford the mortgage and bills.

How do you figure? Sounds like you'd be much better off!

What's your situation look like if you separate?

Hi, abrrba! No, I don't think there's been a new radio show since then, but I have emailed Dr. Harley a time or two and he still answers.

I noticed awhile back the radio shows were coming out on spotify now.

Honestly, a lot of the time they just want to ease their own guilt or try to look like they're "trying" to outside eyes without actually doing the painful heavy lifting of changing. When my friend went through something similar, counseling was used more as a shield to say "look, we went!" rather than a tool to fix the actual broken trust. If there's no real accountability or willingness to cut off the affair fog completely, all the therapy in the world isn't going to make a difference.

Honestly, if you're already having this many doubts before making a long-term commitment, that's usually your gut trying to tell you something important. When I was wrestling with a similar decision years ago, I realized that waiting for things to magically click into place just dragged out the inevitable, and taking a step back gave me the clarity I desperately needed.

Been with husband 26 years, he's lied, cheated, got arrested for solicitation of a prostitute, just on and on over the years. Sorry this is long, I'll try the condensed version.
I left him once, he came looking for me, apologized, etc and we moved back together.
2013 was i think the worst. His mother was in bad shape, we had to put her in a nursing home. His dad had dementia also, I moved with him to help take care of them. I did for 7 years!!!
Then he started, going thru money like crazy, online lookups for prostitutes, lies for almost a year that he was working on the house to sell it , we lived 35 minutes from that house but at first I never checked on him, he was supposedly working on repairs etc. lies!! He found a gf she was over at the house constantly, he was doing cocaine, he got a burner phone, took gf to eat ars, paid for her phone and who knows what else.
Only came home on weekends .I found out when I got a letter for a running a red light, he was in another town I guess to see a hooker or buy drugs..

That's when I found out about the little gf. This went on for almost a year.
Prior to this it was stupid stuff, little flirting on line , hiring 2 sons of a female "friend" and lying to me about who they were.
Leaving job site to help a waitress he met cuz she had a flat tire , one again lying to me but I always found out.
In 2015 his mom died, we came back to my home state. I thought things had mellowed. I resumed my career, he got some local jobs. Seemed fine.
6 yrs ago sex started going downhill, we were older and I didn't make a big deal of it. We were in our late 50s.
No sex at all for the last 5 yrs, age I guess. He's on meds for cholesterol and high blood pressure so he blames that, days he doesn't have the urge. Refuses all medical intervention. Ok..
2 year's ago I have a brain stroke. Thank God it only affected the occipital area and I've lost all vision in the left eye, no peripheral vision etc. Mood swings, anxieties etc. I can walk and talk but seeing things, cooking , reading etc is difficult. I had to leave my career. I am not allowed to drive. I am now 68, he
is 69. We sold our big house and land, moved to a smaller home with 5 acres.
I continue to struggle but I do 100% of house chores, he does not have to help me bathe, dress etc. I did it myself, all he does for me is drive me to the store or Dr etc.
With the brain injury I do not want to be out around a lot of people, noise, lights, commotion is overwhelming to me, the Neurologist has explained that too him. Even him blasting the TV and radio freak me out.
We have an Rv, and boat. I do not want to travel, I can't freaking see !!! I don't want to be away from my comfort zone my home and farm.
I've told him to go by himself, I have walmart delivery to the house, I have friends nearby in an emergency, he refuses.
Now yesterday his xwife messages me!! Mind you they haven't talked since their son died 6 yrs ago. Apparently he called her to see how she was after the sons death (this was his excuse) she states he called her out of the blue, telling her he was tired of looking at the 4 walls, he wanted to go camping, travel with the rv, fishing etc. Asked where she was living now etc she has no reason to lie to me, she wants nothing to do with him, she's in a happy relationship and has told him this .
When I confronted him he sticks to his story, that he wanted to see how she was. When I tell him what she said in detail about the 4 walls, the rv etc he offers NO explanation, he told her, she has no way of knowing!!! He made no comment just the same BS, he wanted to know how she was. Seriously??? After 6 yrs after son's death and no communication now you call her and whine??? He also failed to tell her I had a stroke..
We fought all day, well I said some nasty things, he didn't say much. I told him to get out, take the rv, boat and leave!!! I'd figure it out and I would be fine.
He just sat there. I told him i would no longer do squat for him, he can cook his food AND clean up after himself. He can handle his own bills and problems I will not do it for him any more.
I look at him with disgust, all the lies and BS for the past 26 yrs came flooding back and I lost it, I threw it all back in his face.
He didn't argue, just say there looking stupid, 1 apology and that's it. Like a piece of driftwood, no emotion, nothing! That's his personality but yesterday I was pissed, mad, upset and feel trapped. I guess he knows if he leaves I'm so screwed, I will not show weakness to him. I just want to cry and scream!
I'm sorry for so long and excuse typos, I'm using talk to text too and it messes up

Have you ever tried suggesting a fixed 50/50 schedule to her, or have you mostly just been going along with her work schedule so far? I can see how things could get frustrating when your time with your daughter depends on whether extra days work for her.

I’m sorry you’re both going through this. I can understand how torn you must feel, wanting your wife to be happy while also dealing with the emotional weight of having another man involved in conceiving your child. I wouldn’t rush into agreeing to something this life-changing out of guilt or fear of losing her. You both deserve to feel comfortable with whatever decision you make together, and talking to a counselor who understands infertility could help.

Before making a final decision, it might also be worth researching other medical options and their costs. Some couples look into fertility clinics abroad because treatment options and prices can vary between countries. Even if IVF seems unaffordable right now, getting a few consultations and comparing alternatives could help you understand what’s realistically possible before taking a step that could affect your marriage long-term.

Are you divorced or just separated? If divorced, then I'd say 'whenever you think you're ready'. If separated, I'd say 'wait until you're divorced, and then whenever you think you're ready'.

Hi, Markos. It's nice to see a familiar name, and I'm glad you and your family are doing well. I do check in here from time-to-time to see who's still around. I remarried in 2025, and we try to read Dr. Harley's devotional every morning, and catch the radio shows. Any news about Dr. Harley and Joyce? I don't think there's been a new radio show since June 2025.