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One last snippet today. (I have just reheated my sweet potato for the fifth or sixth time, and really need to eat it while there is some moisture left.)

It was at that wonderful point in recovery that I made my first mistake. I'm sure what happened would have happened no matter what, but there is no question that I made it easier.

I let her keep her job.

Oh, I made it very clear that I still expected NC with AJ, and any questions would come to me, but she would still have a link to us. She promised it would just be for a short time while she found another job, and reminded me about the money owed her.

Those of you who only met me recently may be surprised to find that I was a little afraid of her. (What if she sues? *tremble, tremble*) And she seemed so nice. At last, she was ready to do the honorable thing and let him go.

When pigs fly.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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What a beautiful name, Dillon.

Thank you. It means 'pledge'. I would never have named him that if he had lived, because 3 boys with D names would have been 2 too many. (It was too late to change the Dervish's name by the time I figured this out.) I'm just not that good at tongue twisters.

I had lots of girls' names picked out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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He did fail to mention the threesome to her, for some reason.

I wonder why? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Elucidate, Neak. Enlighten me...

t&l

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Then....close your eyes again Mom, but I seem to remember something about the sink. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I am never going to be able to look that sink in the faucets again without <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />!

t&l <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

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I'll have to wait until AJ is ready to go public on an international scale, though.

Right. We want to keep this a secret a little longer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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(the feminine hygene post is incredibly long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> did'nt have a few days to read it all)

Yes, it is, isn't it? It was like Topsy, and just G-R-E-W! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> And isn't it wonderful that it's so long? That means that it becomes increasing less likely that more people will stumble across The Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid, scattered amongst those earlier pages, and the rendering of my youthful follies can begin to fade from memory at last. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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That's good Neak. Somehow, since he has such a wonderful, classy and talented wife, I thought the OW wouldn't be an alley cat. Silly me.

If he wanted "wonderful", "classy", and "talented", he could've just stayed home! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Sometimes I've wondered if Garg's very average-ness wasn't part of her charm for AJ--here was a woman who couldn't do all these things he couldn't do either, and with whom he risked no unflattering comparisons. I'm not saying anybody did this to him on purpose, including Neak. In fact, she bent over backwards to avoid it. It was (and is still, and he's going to have to deal with it) just there in living. Pretty much everybody but her next-door neighbor loves Neak. (Neak's dog killed the neighbor's special chickens! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> And her cat? I forget--stupid dog) She's admired for her musical abilities, her book, her outgoing personality, etc. AJ has had several business failures. His strengths aren't things that "display" well in public, and so he has never gotten the same kind of general, admiring feedback that his wife does. I think it was kinda like being Mr. Neak. Doesn't go over well in Hollywood, and I suspect it got old here, too. I think that the admiration of somebody who wasn't even a subconscious threat on any level was very attractive to him. Can't say for sure. But it makes sense to me, given my observation of the situation for the last 10 years.

t&l

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T&L,
Quote: I think that the admiration of somebody who wasn't even a subconscious threat on any level was very attractive to him. Can't say for sure. End Quote

I think you are right on the mark. The various A books say that the OP is usually not better looking, smarter, etc. It puts the WS in a position of superiority. In my case as well, it was a long term marriage. Along comes Miss Floozy and starts blowing sunshine up his . . . That kind of admiration and adoration can become intoxicating I assume. Just like everything else that is filled with hot air, it deflates sooner or later.


Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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OH i second that.

t&l: now you peaked my curiousity....gonna have to start reading the site again... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


Hey, is there an age difference between AJ and the scumbag?

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Neak Offline OP
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ROFL, she's an OOW - an Older Other Woman. Not enough to get too smug over, but she's 35 and we're 33. She's never married, we're.......married. She has money, we........don't. (Sigh) There are numerous other contrasts, but that's a start.

You can't imagine how happy I was when I found out she wasn't 24. (I found a wad of papers in his drawer where he'd done a background check on her.)


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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It won't be long before AJ starts getting up in front and doing stuff. Probably not singing. But he's getting so excited about everything he's learning that he wants to share with everybody.

Don't take this as snivelling about my blessings, because it's not; it's just a simple statement of fact. I love music and writing and talking and stuff, but it's not just fun and games being blessed with several talents. God gives you gifts because He expects you to use them. Each must be carefully developed, not just hidden away.

Everybody has their own talent(s), but to those who are given more, more is required. I do not always do a good job of living up to that. Oh, I hardly ever do anything terrible, but there's much more to serving God than just not being bad. That's where I often get lost, by not being able to manage my time well enough to utilize my full potential.

Ok, down off the soapbox.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Along comes Miss Floozy and starts blowing sunshine up his . . .

Dare I hope that he at least got a really bad sunburn out of it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Do you remember that very popular John Denver song back a couple of decades ago that explored this theme? Sure you do. Everybody sing along, now..."Sunshine up my ..." Oh, wait--wrong body part! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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Neak,

That's interesting that you were so glad she wasn't 24. I was more threatened by the fact that she was closer to his age. To me that had the makings of a more lasting relationship. I was hoping she was a young bimbo.


Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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It won't be long before AJ starts getting up in front and doing stuff.

And I would be the very last person to discourage him from this. However, we were speaking (at least I was!) about what had occurred in the past that may have paved the way towards an affair. Whatever happens from here on out will never change what's already gone before. And let's be fair here--you've got to admit you've got a head start on him in the public adulation department. Even though I know you don't encourage it, you get it anyway, on a regular basis. And if he's going to continue to live with you, either you'll have to bury your talents to a greater or lesser extent, or he'll have to learn some way to accept what is without letting resentment build again.

And I'm certainly not saying I know HOW he should do this, so don't be looking for any advice from me. Analysis and diagnosis? You've come to the right place. A cure? Kinda iffy, if you ask me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Oh, right. You didn't. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

P.S. I hope the appraiser appreciates your literary achievements! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

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Neak,

Here's another thought about the OW. Maybe it wasn't AJ she wanted to conquer but you (not in the sexual sense). If you are as talented as your mommy says <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> stealing your husband would be quite the ego boost for a single psychopathic female. Maybe AJ was just a pawn in a power play. IMHO she was pretty darn brazen. If it was me sleeping with a married guy and his wife showed up at the hotel room, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> my sorry [censored] would be out of there faster than Michael Jackson can pull his pants up!

Then again, I do see a pattern with some OW/OM. They are predators and will stop at nothing to get what they want.


Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Neak Offline OP
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Um, Mom, I was actually putting it over here, but I don't care if you borrowed it.

The reason I am smiling as if I meant it was because this was either PBL day or within a couple days of it.

And yes, even the baggy clothes could not hide that I had lost more weight than was good for me.

Me


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Shattered, you may have a point. I am not sure how much she knew at the beginning, but by the part of the story which will be coming up shortly, she knew plenty that must have galled her no end, and made her even more determined than she already was.

She tried over and over to smear me to him, and it worked for a while, but he knows me too well and finally couldn't swallow it.

I am signing off for a bit, but will be back later this afternoon. After I booked the motel for AJ yesterday, his hours got cut. Suddenly, not only was he spending the night alone, which he didn't want to do, (that's ok, I wasn't that crazy about it either), but he would be alooooooone until 1 pm. So we are going to see him for lunch, then coming right back to work some more toward getting ready for the appraisal.

Don't have too much fun without me!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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"stealing your husband would be quite the ego boost for a single psychopathic female"

Shattered - You've touched on something here. My WH's OW is 20 years younger than us. And, she now has my husband. The strange thing is, that is not enough for her. She continues to drive by my house all of the time. She has started a job working at the same base where I work. It's all very strange.

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And if I were ever the OW (God forbid), and his wife caught us together, I would be MORTIFIED.

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And if I were ever the OW (God forbid), and his wife caught us together, I would be MORTIFIED.

Exactly my point. Didn't she stay on the bed, chatting on her cell phone? She's lucky she didn't get shot! Hasn't she heard the expression "****** hath no fury like a woman scorned."


Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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