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She didn't budge. She might almost have been a statue. I think I saw her eyelashes flicker in my direction, but she kept her face turned away. It wouldn't be shame, for she has none.

I really wonder what was going on in her mind at the time. Not that it's worth knowing.

This might be a good time to slip in this fascinating little reminiscence (sp?). This occurred right after that doofus hired her on with the corp, after the first time they had sex, and while they were supposedly 'just friends'. I figured when I did it that I would at least find out for my own benefit how 'just friends' they really were, and I did.

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In case anyone needs a good chuckle, I'll share the story of my only contact with OW. After hiring her on, WH had said repeatedly that nothing was going on, so I sent her a very sweet text message reading something like this: "K****, I wanted to invite you to have lunch with me one of the days this week. Tues would be good for me. I don't want to talk about WH - he told me what happened between you, said he was sorry, I forgave him, and we have moved forward from there. Maybe we can never be friends, but if you're going to work for us, I'd like us to at least be acquaintances that are comfortable speaking to each other."

Oh, I was sincere enough in what I wrote, and would have readily had lunch with her had she indicated a desire to do so, but oddly enough all she did was call WH to complain. He called me, quite irate, but couldn't win against my niceness. With what I now know, a note like that must have given her a real start, LOL.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BTW, lunch was really nice.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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So I let her stay with the company. She sent her hours to me, I sent them to the payroll company. She sent her incident reports to me, and I filed them. Other than that, she stood her post and we left each other alone.

After about a week and a half a small amount of contact occurred, and I found out about it. I am not going to look it up right now, but if memory serves, there was a phone call and at least one TM. I told him I had found it, but other than that walked around in a catatonic state for a full week. Having it begin again after the tears and the promises was just too much for my poor little mind at first.

When I finally came to, I talked to him about it more. He said he had no idea it would bother me that much, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />, and he was only just asking her a quick work-related question, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> again. Because it had made him kind of uncomfortable to have a zombie for a wife, he promised again that there would be NC. I wasn't sure the problem had been dealt with, so just silently watched even more closely.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Did she fall off the face of the earth? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Here I log on before I go to bed this morning to find out what's been happening in my neck of the woods, only to find her on the bottom of page 2. When she was little we called her "Diarrhea Elizablatt" because she talked so much. I can't believe she actually ran out of words! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Maybe she's been busy getting the house ready for the appraisal. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Good Neak.

Or not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Depends on what she's been doing while she was mute. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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Did she fall off the face of the earth?

I know! Isn't it just like an author to leave you hanging! Sheesh!


Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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So sorry, and abjectest apologies!

Yes, it was the appraisal.

Neaksis, being the merciless taskmaster she is, kept me slaving at top speed until 11:30 last night, at which time she finally released me to spend a little, um, quality time with my own husband, but you might imagine I was up a little late.

I dragged my weary butt out of bed at 7:30 and got busy again, and logged on here just as soon as she left to go pick up kids from school. (She left me a whole list of jobs to do while she was gone, too.) So this mouse will try to play a little while Neaksis is gone, but first I have to go make some soy turkey sandwiches for everybody's lunches.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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The second mistake I made in recovery was a neglect of the details. I had all my major boundaries in place, but didn't absorb or implement the fine print, the closing of every possible avenue, no matter how tiny, whereby Gargamel could contact AJ.

I have been reading through this part of my old thread, trying to remember more of what went wrong, but those seemingly insignificant contacts so shattered me that I was appearing to function but without so much as a synapse firing inside my brain.

It's all there in black and white, they told me what I needed to do, and I responded back approvingly. Even to read it myself, I sounded like I had a good grasp of what was going on. I don't remember any of it. I know we switched his cell phone and issued his to one of the other employees.

Hindsight will become 20/20 if you let it, and I can see now that even though there were numerous details that should have been attended to from day 1, the means through which the second phase of the A was established was something I wouldn't have guessed.

Around the 24th of May, AJ was scheduled for his first day back since PBL Day, at the job where the A had started. She had already been forced to resign even before D-day, so she wouldn't be working with him - her only job was still with our company. I thought it might bother him a bit to go back again.

He said it wouldn't, so I didn't push the issue. BUT, since he was also scheduled to work the next day, a much-hated Wednesday, I made it very clear that I would meet him right after work and go out with him.

Tuesday night he was fine, and said everything was so different with the new boss that it didn't bother him to be back. He seemed like he meant it, so I mentally filed it away as Case Closed.

When quitting time came the next day, I was waiting in the parking lot. He was surprised to see me, and a bit irritated. He had no recollection that we were going out to dinner, and said he was too tired and just wanted to go home. Plus, he and another lady had just gotten back from removing several animals from sewer-infested conditions, and his point that he was too dirty to be in public was valid.

I grabbed takeout and met him at home.

Much later I learned that Gargamel had found out from some of her friends that he would be working that day, then went by and left a note on his car. She told him she would heal so much better if she could only hear from him once in a while, she missed him sooooooooo much, and please just call!

He did.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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I never connected the exact timing of it with those days at his job, but things were just not as good. He wasn't as loving as he had been at first, not as happy, not as anything. I asked him if something was wrong, but he said no and I chalked it up to withdrawal finally hitting.

Things never got really bad, but they just weren't good anymore.

Then on June 18, I found her number on his cell phone. He was right there next to me when I saw it, and as soon as I asked him about it, he snatched the phone from me, pushed a few buttons, then told me his phone must have called her by mistake, but now he had blocked her number from his phone. Oh, and in order to do so, it had to delete the call record.

Am I the only one who thinks that sounded fishy? Of course not. It suddenly began to get really foggy around there.

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It was like history repeating itself all over again. Blame, guilt - everybody's kicking me while I'm down, think what you want - you will anyway, I haven't done anything wrong, I've tried so hard and you still think bad things about me, so this is why you've been treating me so badly, do you want me to leave, I wish I could hide from everybody & never see anyone again, and here's the kicker, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST ASK OW. He said the same thing about asking her when he was denying sleeping with her again. FOG FOG FOG

This led to the single most idiotic thing I have done here on the forum. I tried to change my posting name. See, he had been on here more than once to read stuff, and even to post a little. I was afraid if he happened to see what I was up to, he would be warned. That would be bad.

First I tried to make a separate account, but it wouldn't go through for some reason. So I changed my name, thinking it would only affect the thread on which I changed it.

Wrong-o.

Normally it wouldn't have gotten much notice, but just that morning I had started a really hot sex thread, How To Seduce a Reluctant Husband, or something like that. Everybody was having a blast adding their favorite seduction tips. Then suddenly, HopeImWrong was plastered all over the places that only moment before were not_so_you_neak. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I am not the Head of Information Technology on Idiotville for nothing!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Of course I didn't want to believe it could be happening again, but there was a huge difference between my reaction the first time NC was broken, and the second. The first, I was frozen. The second, I was steamed.

I took care not to fly off the handle. Before I did any more confronting, I started finding out what I could. I had been checking his phone and email quite often, but started branching out a little. First, I called the phone company and established that it was not possible to block the phone in that way. I knew he would try every which way to Sunday to wiggle out of this, and was still under the mistaken impression that I had to prove what he had done to him to be able to do something about it.

Yes, I needed to have a good idea what was going on, and not make wild accusations with no evidence, but I did not need to prove anything to him, as he already knew it was true.

I was very honored to have Lemonman take me briefly to task for hoping there might yet be some logical explanation that didn't involve AJ breaking his promises. He was perfectly right: I had to face that all those promises I had put so much faith in, though they were sincere at the time, were now worth squat.

Once I had fully accepted that, it was fairly easy to proceed with planning and figuring. My love was at such a low level that I achieved near Vulcan-like detatchment.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Oh, I forgot to mention that on May 19, she had sent him a birthday card, which he told me about. It was one of his last few reliable actions before Part II.

By June 22, I was well along in my thoughts of organizing another Plan B. One of my posts mentioned that AJ was very upset that I was trying to get on birth control pills, apparently not liking the idea that then I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Well, that is how it was supposed to work. He must have thought the whatever and whenever might also include whoever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Upon checking the call details for his phone, thoughtfully provided by the phone company, I was able to see a pattern. There would be a short, 1 or 2 minute call to Gargamel, followed immediately by an incoming call from a blocked number, which would last for much longer. Of course I knew it was her, but AJ later confirmed that she simply dialed *67, rather than getting a whole new blocked phone.

Several days after the first incident, he also tried to 'show' me how his phone could accidentally scroll down through the list, then if a certain number was bumped, it would make the call.

I asked him to show me how to block numbers. (No reason he should be comfortable, right?) He pushed buttons around randomly for a minute before saying that he just couldn't remember, and had to get to work anyway.

As at the first confrontation, he denied having EVER spoken to her since Cinco de Mayo.

When I looked more closely at his phone, I found that it actually did call numbers if that button was pushed, but the only list it would scroll through was the list of numbers he had recently called. Even though I didn't need it, I had enough proof to satisfy the most demanding critic.

Over the 23rd and 24th I wrote more letters that were scrapped by the pros. TMI, the curse of every writer! The unanimous advice was to keep it very short, and maybe include a couple of Bible verses.

The morning of the 24th I indicated that I intended to talk to AJ that night. It is too much water under the bridge, and I can't remember why I didn't. I am guessing that because of whatever happened, I was going to wait until he had a day off, when there would be time to sit down for a while. Who knows? I can guarantee I wasn't dragging my feet without a very good reason.

What I do remember is that certain events necessitated moving a little more quickly.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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That Saturday night he worked a shift at Gargamel's job site so she could have a day off. Just at midnight, he was seen outside the store, making a call that lasted at least 10 minutes.

When he got home, (he did come straight home), his phone had no record of any call. I wanted to confront him on that, too, but still struggled with the whole proof thing. What if it was somehow somebody else??? The phone records wouldn't be available until after the first week of July, and I didn't want to wait that long.

I prayed very earnestly that God would show me the truth, and was that really her AJ had called? It was like God whispered very quietly in my head, "Why are you asking Me, when you already know the truth?"

It was another real lightbulb moment, and I got what everybody had been trying to tell me all along. What matters is what you know, not what you can prove.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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OK, break's over. Back to work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

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Hope the rest comes in time for my bedtime story.

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A lot depends on Neaksis. I'll try...


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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You have to promise not to kill me if I have to stop in a really interesting place.

Monday morning, June 27, 2005, dawned bright and clear. The sun was shining, the birds, were singing, and the dogs were chasing pheasants. A ladybug crawled slowly up the stem of a star thistle.

Ok, I'll try to move it along a little faster.

Monday morning, AJ headed out to an installation job in Sacramento. One of his friends was supposed to meet him there to help him, and my brother was going down a little later.

Part-way there, he called me and gently probed to make sure I was staying home, and not going anywhere. "Now you don't have to come down and help me, ok? The other guys will help me and that will be plenty. You just go ahead and get the other stuff done for the company. I luv you!!!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> No, that wasn't suspicious, either.

I was about ready to jump in the car on the spot, but decided not to be hasty. Plus, I would have to get rid of the children.

My brother left to go down there, and I asked him to let me know if she showed up.

Neaksis came by and stayed for a while, in case I needed her, but after time ticked by and nothing happened she gave up and got ready to run some errands. (I would not have been able to contact her via cell phone, and AJ had my car, so I would have been stuck.)

She said goodbye, and walked out to her car. The phone rang. It was my brother. "She's here."

I ran outside barefoot, waving my arms and yelling. Neaksis saw me just as she was driving away, and stopped. I am so blessed to have her for a sister. For just a short time, I lost my Vulcaninity, and trembled and dithered with the best of them. She sternly marshalled the troops, and cracked the whip over me to hurry up and shower and beautify.

Nothing in my closet seemed quite suitable for the occasion, so we went by her house - I had to drop her off anyway - and she picked out this darling little sundress: bright red with flowers, short and shapely and flirty.

By the time I got in the car to leave, I was very very calm. I was simply going to go and tell him in person that I had had enough.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Since I see Neaksis has caught me posting instead of working, let me just take this time to say....

NEAKSIS IS THE HERO OF THIS WHOLE THING! YAY NEAKSIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Gosh, she's a real slave-driver. Send her to my house some time. I need to clean instead of post.

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She's a one-woman army. You don't know what you're asking for, but you would like it after...............................................if you could still move.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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You have to promise not to kill me if I have to stop in a really interesting place


You better be typing cause your life is in DANGER!


aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just lost my WHOLE POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will try and retype it before Neaksis realizes I'm still missing.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Rats. She noticed. I will quickly put in a quote to tide you over till her attention wanders from me again.

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Hi everybody!
This is notso's special, wonderful, and awesome sister here. Notso asked me to post and let everyone know what is happening right now so you can tune in for all the gory details later on this evening.
WH was working today and notso suspected that OW would be coming from WH's suspicious behavior. Then notso's brother went to help out with the work. Of course WH is not so foolish as to have OW there when BS's own brother is coming. Oh dear. He is.
So neaky is on her way down to surprise them. What she says will doubtless depend on the moment's inspiration, but she said to tell everyone that she is very calm and in a very strong place. Awesome and amazing were her exact words.

Isn't she the cutest thing?


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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