Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 30 of 44 1 2 28 29 30 31 32 43 44
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Thats a great start Neak ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

The hard part of course is making behavioural changes permanent ... might need a POJA on how to discuss & address when lapses occur, because as it's all new it happens even with the best of intentions.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> silence is my ans to the obvious question, yes me too.

Its the misintrepretation that goes on which is so easy, in hindsight, to resolve. Like when I think Aussie is upset with me and therefore quiet, usually its just because hes quiet and I don't figure in the mood at all. But feel guilty anyway <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Its the LB's that we don't even know we put on the other, like when you try to do something nice and it comes across as manipulative because the message got mixed. Yeah done that. Had that done to me. If he was here I'd talk to him about it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Consistency is the key from both. The long haul is lots of little steps ... talking of which I have to go take his master out for a walk .. my exercise <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hugs ( oh the blow up at him thing .. I use his punching bag out the back and admit swearing at it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />)


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
I can't believe Neak would go three days without telling us how it is.

Well, maybe I can, but it's difficult.

Maybe with getting Neaksis ready for the wedding and all, she is too busy.

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Tee hee hee hee, and to think, she still doesn't even know she's getting married!

We had company all weekend, and today was a teacher meeting, always an educational emphasis time.

It was a very nice weekend - very bonding and full of affection on both sides. The only thing was that with company, he wasn't quite able to make good on his promise that when he left I wouldn't be able to walk. I can still walk, though I limp a little. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Then it was all over with so quickly, and he is back to work again.

I nearly wet myself when, at the Christmas program, Neaksis' kids' biomom came up to AJ, whom she hasn't seen in some time, and said, "AJ! You've gotten so ffffffffchubby!!!"

Always a model of tact. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Always loyal, Mr. Computer artlessly told her that she looked bigger, too. Bwaaaaaa!!!

My favorite line from his herald monologue was the closing: All you Judaeans need to come to your census!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
And now is just the right time to have her dress up in white and say its for her to be in the play as an ANGEL!! hehehe

Besides, its probably not a good idea to know your future H or W too well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
Besides, its probably not a good idea to know your future H or W too well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Her father and I knew each other exactly 3 months to the day when we got married. Can't say that NOT knowing your future hubby too well has worked out that hot, either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
HI ya TL !!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

well maybe we have to use a computer, or a darts board, maybe the highest card, because it seems to me its as good as long term dating, living together, whatever! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Or maybe ........ "eenie, meenie, minee mo ........." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Now as for

Quote
Her father and I knew each other exactly 3 months to the day when we got married. Can't say that NOT knowing your future hubby too well has worked out that hot, either.

well what about 3 pretty wonderful kids tl? Mmmmmmm? Not a failure I guess. You sound just like my mum! I point out the same things but 5 kids and all I get is 'Yes dear BUT..."
I love dad but its true he doesn't like going out, doesn't like going on holidays, doesn't believe in buying presents or forgets, doesn't do much with mum unless he's pushed ... cripes that sounds like most husbands I know in our family!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
well what about 3 pretty wonderful kids tl?

I have 4 kids. Which one are we leaving out? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
ROFLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just wondering the very same thing!!!!!!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> She must be fairly certain she isn't the one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />Never crossed my mind.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
OMG talk about being vacant as a bloke. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I was thinking of my own kids and kept repeating over and over to myself "I'm sure TL has 4..I think ... DON'T put 3 in" ....... and then put 3 in. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OK lets try that again .... "well what about 4 pretty wonderful kids tl?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


So now that you tried to avoid the Q ..lol ... fess up tl!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
Quote
So now that you tried to avoid the Q ..lol ... fess up tl!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I wasn't actually avoiding the question, at least not deliberately. I was speaking more in terms of the functional efficiency of the marital factory, which is marginal at best, and not so much about the product generated by it, which is superb...if I must say so myself. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
TL

just picked up my son from the airport ..he looks so handsome in his uniform I had to fight all those hussies off him at the lounge bar ... to his great disappointment <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> but I was NOT going to wait around while he was on the make <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

oh my gosh he is so big, he towers over me & Aussie.
I then got him home and had to feed him as one meal appears to have not been enough <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> had a play with Mikey who was woken by SOMEONE I wont mention <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> then he went to sleep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
and the
Quote
functional efficiency of the marital factory, which is marginal at best


Mum has begun referring to her & dad as "Partial disfunctional happiness with some periods of discontent" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I think that means dad drives her up the wall sometimes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
It is truly eerie how much our parents remind me of each other.

Last night Dad called, chatted a bit, then said, "I'd better go - your mother is just about to leave for work and I have to go bug her a bit."

He was kidding. I think.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,458
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Is that why he came padding down the stairs as I was hustling out the door?

t&l

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
You ladies sure put on a good show. I hope I can actually work now.

AW, I'm glad your son is safely home.

Neak, I'm glad you can still walk.
I think.

We know what AJ said, but what did you say in reply?

And on other subjects -
Are you sure your dad didn't say "HUG her a bit?"

You probably are sure. It's just that .......... Oh never mind.

I hope everyone can feel the warmth of the season.

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Neak Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
My response was pretty much that I knew I had things I needed to change also, and that if he spoke to me about them in a gentle way that I would be more receptive. Also that I was still not going to be perfect, and if he had to talk to me about something more than once, to be patient then, too.

You were right; I am pretty sure about the bug thing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,383
Quote
You were right; I am pretty sure about the bug thing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mum & Dads anniversary tomorrow .. I wonder if he will remember .. I would have been more forward with reminders but as far as mum is concerned if he doesn't make the effort then it doesn't mean much <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I sort of know how she feels as its been forgotten in this M as well a number of times <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
well if I HAVE to be honest on one of those occasions I forgot as well.. new baby ( Not Mikey of course), deployment, moving to new housing in another state..just one of those times. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,512
I can't imagine not remembering your wedding anniversary. (Unless you just had a baby, and were moving to another state, etc, etc.

We tend to make it a special occasion these days - go stay somewhere away by ourselves.

I didn't always understand, but I can say that using MB materials sure helps. I feel bad for the men who don't get that, because they don't know just how good it could really be.

I ought to tell a joke, and lighten the mood, but I can't think of one.

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Page 30 of 44 1 2 28 29 30 31 32 43 44

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (TALKINGNONSENSE), 453 guests, and 77 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ScreamArt, BibleBeliever, JhocelinDeschamp, Elysia007, coursefpx
71,915 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 12/12/24 11:08 PM
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,618
Posts2,323,473
Members71,916
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5