Hi everyone. It has been a very long time since I have posted here. Yesterday a good friend of mine told me that she just discovered that her husband had an affair 5 years ago. I am posting to ask for some things that worked for those of you here who found out about something quite some time before now. I am sure that most of the same rules apply as for recovery. Keep in mind that this person is in the turmoil of pain right now and saying anything to minimize the pain she is feeling. Her husband and she both are different people than they were 5 years ago/both saved and very devoted to their church community. I am happy to hear it didn't just happen, however, those words do not help her at all right now. I will be meeting her in a hour in 1/2. I already highly recommended a professional marriage councilor and other things that helped me such as the book "forgive for good by dr luskin" as well as Dearpeggy.com Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

If you are wondering how I am doing...... We are in a good place. We are 3.5 years out from our yuck. Recently, I discovered I had not fully healed and need more counciling. I had turned to alcohol for relief from stress of life, kids, etc and while drunk would say things to my husband re the past. My anger I surpressed came out. I am back in counciling. My suggestion, stay away from alcohol, we already have enough going on with our antidepressants and grief....... turn to God and dedicate our lives to a better marriage...... easier said than done, I know......

Best wishes