OK many of you are going to find this completely strange...
It's XH's year to have the kids Christmas morning if he so chooses. Since before Thanksgiving I've been prompting him to make his plans and let me know so I can plan accordingly. I gave him first choice of what to do, since it is "his turn".
In the time when we were separated and newly divorced, other than last year, he'd come over Christmas morning and spend the day, including Christmas dinner.
Last year we were both involved with new people - I had Christmas Morning and he took the kids for Christmas dinner. His GF was out of town but he had her kids and our kids and made dinner for them, and my BF and I went to my friend's for Christmas dinner.
Well this year is different... and the same...
He's alone - GF physically left him in April but they continued long-distance until around Thanksgiving. During the summer I met somebody new (my last relationship ended early in January) and we've been dating for about 4 months.
XH and my BF get along well - XH and I own a business together and still work together - I'm there full time, he comes in part time and my BF sometimes lends a hand - in fact BF came in to help XH when I was away recently.
So last night I asked XH what his plans were... he told me I could keep the kids for Christmas morning and he'd do dinner with them. I was going to cook a turkey etc., assuming the kids would be with him Christmas morning... but he wants to sleep in on Christmas Day.
I suggested he come over to the house for Christmas dinner and he enthusiastically agreed. I also checked with B (my BF) to make sure this was OK with him - and he was just fine with it.
So... Christmas Eve BF and I will have the day with my kids to visit with BF's family and stuff, then Christmas morning we'll do our thing and XH can come over at his leisure and we'll fix dinner "together" so he can spend time with the kids, and more importantly he won't be alone for Christmas.
I wouldn't wish being alone on Christmas on anybody...
This way, the kids get to stay at home and have all their new "stuff", they get to spend time with their father, and as DD put it - she won't have to change out of her pajamas all day! LOL
Besides... XH makes awesome gravy!!! He joked about not lifting a finger in the kitchen since I said *I* was going to cook a turkey... but when I reminded him that he makes the best gravy he laughed and *reluctantly* agreed to help out in the kitchen. When we were married he did the majority of the cooking because he's a great cook and he enjoys cooking - I am a functional cook... I can cook well but it's not my favourite thing to do...
I'm sure many of you will think this arrangement is rather bizarre... but then again many people think of my situation working with him is also bizarre.
When I see so many divorced couples so full of contempt and bitterness toward their ex, it makes me sad... I know there are reasons for that - but IMO life is too short to hold on to so much anger. I have plenty I could be upset and angry about - but I've forgiven and let it go. I know that the M is over - for good - but I think XH and I have resolved that we can be friends, and in fact I think we get along better now than we did in the last 7 years of the marriage or so.