I have been quite for a while, but I had an issue I wanted to get opinions on.

the effect of consequences on the FWS being a deterrent to subsequent infidelity.

A few preface remarks from the site. We are all wired for affairs. Meet enough needs in someone's love bank and they can cross the love threshold with/for you.

I have seen it written by several posters here, consequences are the results of actions. I have also seen it that if you want behavioral change, then consequences is how to get it. Further, you don't save the person from the consequences of their actions.

So, what I would like to know is who really believes that an FWS can resolve to never have an affair again because the consequences were so great the first time? Do you think consequences stop people from doing things?

"I bet he'll never do that again"

does that not hold true in this arena as well?

Frankly, the consequences for myself and my wife have been disasterous. Does that I consider the consequences felt by me show selfishness? Does that I considered the consequences experienced by my wife show compassion? The pain and destruction caused by my actions is simply to great to bear.

if we make it through this, I want nothing to do with this kind of pain of issue every again.

I was wondering because mostly I see what looks like to me some talk of consequences and even agreement that they are something people should feel. In fact, I have seen people say that it is THE way yo enforce boundaries and 'teach' others those lines.

doesn't that matter here?