Children need consequences to learn right from wrong.

Adults only need conscience and character to refrain from repeating a wrong. Adults without these two attributes are beyond "consequences" - because they're not children, they "don't get it" when a consequence comes - they become a victim instead of learning because their conscience is seared over and they have no character.

Cafe Plan B link

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.