Hi Patriot,

I just posted this in your wife's thread and I'd like for you to see it too.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I had no idea that Patriot was still keeping things from you. THAT IS NOT RIGHT and I don't care how long ago it happened. Dr. Harley said to tell the BS everything they need to know and THEN you can move past that IF there is "just compensation" and "extraordinary care".

And I think that Patriot should add your name on the deed to the house. I mean, if he's a BUYER, he would right? I wouldn't feel SAFE that he was buyer without it.

I also agree that if he said he would pay for half of your son's education that he should put that in writing too. Unless he said, "well if we get a divorce I'm not going to help with the education expenses". And well, that would only mean that he doesn't care about your son really. To me if he felt that way, he's IS using that as some kind of manipulation because he KNOWS it scares you and that you'll do just about anything for your son because YOU are a good person. But you don't have to that Frozen. You CAN do this without him.

It might ease your fears a little bit if you talk to a lawyer and see what your rights are should you decide to not live in deception and manipulation anymore.

You have put just as much, if not more, effort into your marriage and you have every right to benefit from that.

I personally don't see him as a "F"WS until he starts being completely honest with you and does what it takes to earn your trust back. I wouldn't feel valued and cherished in this case. His actions speak differently of someone who is a FWS.

IF you really want this marriage, you have to stop protecting yourself and stop abusing your wife this way.

The poor girl is still in the "discovery" phase.

Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.