Welcome back, TFC and thank you for the great update...

I gotta ask...are you saying this is an affair marriage? Did she divorce because she was in an affair with this man, and pregnant before the divorce was final?

When we attend weddings, the symbol is we stand for the union...we are friends of the marriage. Maybe why all this is happening with the scheduling conflicts (and I totally agree with Cat) is because you're not addressing the bigger issue?

Are you and your wife going to be friends of this marriage? Were you guys friends of the last one?

Love is not enabling or complying...getting by or making peace at the price of honesty...we sometimes have to love tough and true...because your marriage is important, your priority...so standing for it can sometimes mean choosing not to stand for another.