Your post brought tears to my eyes! Thank you so much!

And yes, I think hypocritical is the word I was thinking of, but you are so right! If we wouldn't approve of it for ourselves, why would we for another?

We have discussed our plans to be there as a support-system for the 2 of them in their new M together. We know that this will be a struggle for us considering our assumption that this was all rooted in an A. But again, since we do not know for sure, we feel guilty assuming this.

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I see the wedding ceremony as where we symbolically approve by standing for the wedding. I see the reception as participating in their celebration of their marriage. So I'm reversed from your H. See how communicating in symbols is tough? lol

It is funny how people can differ in their opinion of the symbols of events. So, am I hearing that you would attend the reception, were you in our shoes?