Well it was interesting ... to say the least. For the 1st 1/2 hr H & I felt like outsiders in our own home. They were somewhat civil, but not friendly - more cold to us, but friendly with one another.

After it was over and everyone was leaving, MIL literally cornered me in my kitchen - 2 inches from my face, pinned against my cabinets. Here is how our conversation played out:

MIL - "I need to tell the caterer how many people they are serving, so I need to know if you're coming. [H] was supposed to discuss this with you last night."

Me - "I'm sorry. He was out of town last night and we haven't had a chance to talk about it more, but with the ceremony being moved up an hour, there is just no way we can make it."

MIL backed off with a nasty look on her face. "Fine then."

Awkward silence.

Me - "We wish we could be there, but with us having just found out last week about it we have no choice but to miss it. I can't and won't move [DD]'s birthday party - I have already placed a deposit and everyone has RSVPd. Had we only known sooner we may have been able to avoid this."

H - "Mom, its an hour and half away and the party isn't over until 4. Assuming everyone gets their kids on time and we clean up, that doesn't put us home until 5. We couldn't leave our house until the ceremony begins, and there isn't really a point in driving that far just to get there when everyone else is leaving."

MIL - "Its an hour and 15 mins away, not an hour and half. But that's fine. If that's how you feel ..."

H walks them out saying "Its not how we feel, its just the way it is. You all have known about this wedding for a while now and have been able to plan accordingly. We just found out, and its too late to change our plans."


H called MIL last night to be nice, say hi, etc. She was short with him on the phone - almost rude. She inquired if we had chosen a baby name yet - we have not, but have some ideas, but we're not planning on deciding on one until the baby is born. That obviously upset her too. She rushed off the phone. Things are just awkward, to say the least.

Its strange and uncomfortable. We really wanted to get in a lot of family time leading up to the birth of this baby and afterward. It has been important to us to spend as much time with family over the next several months since we will be moving away in the summer.

This whole situation has left us feeling disappointed about our relationship with them and wondering how to repair it. Have we made a tremendous error in dealing with all this? How can we be blamed for not going when we didn't know about it until it was too late?