James 1:19 (NLT)
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

In this verse James provides some words of wisdom for us all. First we are to listen carefully to things said to us. We should be attentive so as not to miss the intent of what is being said to us. If we give a response we should think carefully about the response before speaking out. In taking our time to listen and speak it gives us an opportunity to keep our anger at bay.

Anger is a secondary emotion caused by one or many other emotions. Initially a person does not feel anger, what they feel is a series of emotions that triggers anger. For instance a person can feel abandoned, left out of the plans, put to the side and as those emotions fester they turn to anger because they have not expressed how they truly feel. Speaking in anger does not give us a chance to express our feelings. Instead anger enrages. Ephesians says, “And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” There is nothing wrong with being angry, but the way we express anger can lead to sin. So instead of focusing on the emotion of anger, go back to the first emotions and express them in a way that honors Christ. For instance if someone said something hurtful you could respond by saying, “I makes sad to hear you felt that way.” It sounds a lot different than, “You made me really angry by saying that!” placing the hearer on the defensive. Be honest with your feelings and express them in a way that is understandable. Never give anger a foothold by speaking without thought.