Also- how honest should I be with my husband? I don't want to hurt him. Should I say I'm at the point where I'm willing to work on this, and be committed, but I have serious doubts if I can be emotionally engaged and faithful to him? Is that normal to feel that way?

That sort of sucks for him. It's like I can't let him go, but I don't really want him either.... frown I feel like he deserves better than that. But it's my choice, it's his. If he wants to be with me, knowing where I stand, that's for him to decide right?

Can we get to the point where we need to be eventually? Will commitment take us there, or do I need to work on the emotional aspect of our marriage?

Everyone I trust- family, and godly people, keep assuring me that we're going to be fine.. but how do I reconcile how I feel? That deep down i don't know if this is what I want?

I treated our vows as commitment only... but i've learned since that your heart and intentions have to be in the right place. i'm not sure i can get there.