[quote=eric292
The only thing that is really confusing me, is the doom and gloom you all paint...While I am finding it, hard, I still have a positive expectation of my marriage with Bethany...I want to work out these issues...I wnt to be happy with her. Is that immaturity as well? *sigh*


[/quote]

No, wanting to be happy with your spouse is not immaturity.

Addiction, left untreated, leaves much doom and gloom in a person's life. Go to Barnes and Nobles and look in the addiction section. How many books do you find about alcoholism that say "AA is full of crap. I'm the wife of an alcoholic and I'm mentally and emotionally fine."

My husband and I were together for 5 years before we married. Even the first couple years of our marriage were pretty good. Our marriage began to fall apart when we created a family. This happened rapidly.I went from enjoying my husband to doing everything I could to not spend any time with him. I was happy that we could vacation for two weeks and not kill each other. I could completely tell, in our marriage, when my husband's addiction escalated. Our marriage got worse and worse.

And then I discovered he had an addiction he "forgot" to tell me about. And yes, my friend, that's a big fat lie.

I wouldn't wish our journey on anyone. It has been very painful. It's like recovering from an affair. I wasn't sure we'd make it. It has been worth it. We are now mentally and emotionally healthy people (most of the time.) We are now fit to raise kids-healthy kids..

But, I much would have preferred to deal with this before marriage. I had NO idea what I was getting into when I said my vows.

And I watched porn with my husband. So I don't hate porn. I hate addiction. I hate dysfunction.