Originally Posted by stillstanding2
I hate to admit it but I warned my husband about his actions for months before he started the affair. He believed that I was just jealous and unreasonable. I knew better. He believed that he was better than he actually was. I avoided all opportunities to be in tempting situations because I knew the dangers were real and potentially devastating. He sought out the tempting situations and enjoyed the risk and the ellicit admiration. It was an exhibit of selfishness and arrogance IMO. I am not perfect either. I do believe that if I put myself in a tempting situation and fostered an inappropriate friendship I would cheat also. I don't foster friendships with men. I don't go to bars alone to hang out. When an attractive man started working at my place of employment, I would avoid him. I go home and take care of my family. I am not better than my husband. I am just as weak. I am much more careful. I don't want to hurt my husband the way that he hurt me. I don't ever want to be that person. I like living an honest and open life that I can be proud of.

We have the big winner. I think the #1 driving factor/problem is SELFISHNESS. In our me, me, me society, we are taught to do whatever makes us happy at the expense of those around us. I don't believe in that and was taught that you represent your Family first, your Job, your College, etc. If your actions will reflect badly upon that, then you better not take that action.

Me: 32 BS DDay: 9/14/08
Slowly coming to the realization that I
am one of those who can't get past it.