ERIC-

It's a really good point that marriage is CHOOSING to love for the rest of your life. I had major doubts before marriage, and cold feet. The only regret I have is not working through them before I made my vows.

The confusion/doubt I had was because I was trying to base my vows on how I felt. I kept asking myself how I felt about my husband thinking that was my answer, but really I needed to ask myself am I willing to make a vow to CHOOSE to love him for the rest of my life? The answer was yes, but other thoughts kept interfering.. like are you really 'in love' (which is what our society says is the basis of marriage)?

I went into it thinking I didn't love him, when really I was CHOOSING not to, because I was waiting for my feelings to take over and MAKE THE DECISION FOR ME.

If you have cold feet, that's ok. If you have serious doubts about loving your future spouse, take time to figure out why now. When you say your vows, they are decision you are making, not a feeling you are professing.

Only a hundred years ago marriage based on 'being in love' was a new concept. Being in love is definitely NOT a bad thing, but it needs to be taken for what it is- a biological, emotional, sexually-driven experience that indicates you want to mate with someone.. how's that for romance . We are to the point now where society says the 'in love' part trumps everything else, as if that's noble. The problem is, that it's ripping apart marriages. In reality, God's plan, keeping your holy marriage vows is noble.. not following a feeling.

Again, being 'in love' is a good thing, and I you should have affection, but marriage is not based on that. Especially now, since love and sex are separated in our society... it's tragic because the passion that is supposed to be exclusive to marriage no longer is. No wonder divorce is so frequent.