I have been deployed to Iraq for 1 year, Afghanistan for 6 months and will be deployed once more for a year in about three weeks. I am struggling with my wife having affairs. There is no doubt that she has emotional needs I cannot meet during deployments. Even though I call daily (from Iraq or Afghan) and send several SMS. She seems to be addicted to the feeling of falling in love, and has had five ongoing relationships from just the period between Feb and Nov 2009. These guys text her almost daily on her recently discovered secret cell phone. She is trying to stop, but seems truely addicted to making/maintaining these relationships. In her SMS messages, she professes her love to all five guys. I agreed to not to not looking at the cell phone again, but jealousy got the best of me and while I was reading the new SMSs, she caught me. She says we are over because I looked at her cell phone. She often pulls the "we can divorce" bluff because she has fallbacks, and she knows I don't want a divorce. She admits she is wrong and is a "bad woman", but that she cannot stop. She tells me eveything will be OK and says, "we are still togther aren't we?" I still love her, have dreams with her, a 4 year old daughter, and can forgive her, though its getting harder. Is there hope for our relationship, especially as I will be deployed another year away from my wife? I have not had any affairs myself, and I know she sees ,e as dependable, reliable, and as a "good man". I just am at a loss as to what I should do. She also refuses to see any marrage councilors. Also, was I wrong to look at her secret cell phone?