Hello, I'm pretty new on here, but I just wanted to pipe in on my perspective on the emotional abuse, yelling, put-downs, what not.

I had a boyfriend once who was a Marine who became physically abusive. The first time he stiff armed me, I forgave him. The second time he threw me head first down a flight of cement stairs and tried to strangle me. I threw him in jail and left him.

My husband; also a Marine, or was at least, is more of the emotional abuser, he will yell, put me down, try to belittle me.

I have to say that although the physical abuse was scary and painful, the pain from the emotional abuse lasts much longer; a lifetime, at least for me. There is nothing more hurtful; in my opinion than that, and it should be avoided at all costs.

For a while, I had encouraged my husband to try healthier ways of expressing his anger, like " I am feeling angry because..." or I am feeling hurt because.." or "it hurts me when..." instead of put downs and screaming. Really more problems got solved that way.

I'm not trying to say anything bad about Marines and I could never understand how difficult and scary it must be to be over there, but I have witnessed how stressful the job can be and know the pressures trickle down to loved ones. But, it's how the pressures are handled that make the difference. For a while my husband took a MMA (mixed martial arts) class, which really gave him a venue for his stress. I know that in Iraq; or at least the base my husband was on, they offer MMA classes. It might be something to look into if possible, at least just to relieve the stress.

Married 11/21/03
BW 40 (me)
WS 37
H went to Iraq 1/7/09-10/5/09
D-Day 10/29/09
Got the D papers 11/21/09 (Our 6th Anniversary)
Not giving up! Still on Plan A
I can only get stronger!