One thing to consider is that whether or not he has a controlling tendency, the rate of infidelity/divorce for those in the military is a justified, legitimate concern, backed by statistics.

What have you done, what efforts have you made to strengthen your marriage so that during deployment, his fears are assuaged and you will come back home with your marriage intact?

Have you made use of any programs your branch of the military has offered to families/couples in the military to strengthen your marriage? Have you addressed each others' needs that could arise during the deployments?

Sooly

"Stop yappin and make it happen."
"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Me 47
DH 46
Together for 28 years.
Married 21 years.