In the POJA (policy of joint agreement) there is a place where a couple can discuss their choices. It can be a place where arguments ensue. MB says that it can be a productive place and we all know that when we stop dealing with each others differances of opinion, we stop communicating. The point of POJA is to foster trust. Eventually if the lines of communication are opened and issues are dealt with we hope to not only come to agreement with each other, but to be enthusiastic about joint descisions.
In this situation it seem that she does't think H requests are fair. The MB materials and program is laid out to get the right kind of communication going so they can work out any issues and restore trust.
To the credit of Melody I would say that as members of this forum the first thing W and H needs to do is get the books and program and maybe counsel with The Doc H.
To the credit of Cat she is pointing out a very common concern women have when the H gets insecure and jealous. Us men become very insecure and can attempt to control our wifes. When the couple gets to the table with the MB program in hand and both are seriuos about what they are feeling, doing, and so-on, The book could be an eye-opener for them both. If the husband has no reason for his concern then he will need some help in his problem. Psycological studies can be very helpful in our own self examination but we have to be able to accept that the other partner has a bonafide concern. Being asked to stop progressing in our carreer is a bonefide concern.
Get the MB thing down first and by all means try to find out if and why husband is afraid that his wife is "out there" in the professional world. If MB concepts get mastered then it will be an easy transition for them. If H refuses to participate then she will need to fight for herself. Mel and Cat would be the last ppl to deny that.
Ill take that to the bank
Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.