Originally Posted by sickwithworry
Originally Posted by GreenMile
Originally Posted by sickwithworry
no,

you brought up a new concern from an ongoing situation. I think you are fine. Good topic too, "why can't i do everything just right?"

GM, Don't we ALL have that same feeling?

SWW

Well, maybe we do. In my case, when I don't do things right and revert to that pattern, it really hammers DWG, and then me with it. My self-centered persona and behavior was kind of the crux of the problem that fueled my destructive journey.

Ok,

So besides just trying, what sort of plan is in place to help you when you are tempted to act this way?

SWW

Well, if I knew that I was slipping into that old pattern, I could implement my plan, which is "Stop, you idiot". And then I would immediately stop. Unfortunately, it is not conscious when it is starting. I guess the breakthrough will be when it DOES become conscious before I start doing it. I know that it is how it will work. I do need some kind of trick to make it conscious in the earliest stages.

FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.