Originally Posted By: Aphelion
[According to Dr H, wife falling madly in love with me would be precisely the fully guaranteed result of me meeting her ENs. LOL. Not by a long shot. I was meeting them all, all along (even according to her) and in the way she wanted them met. Redoubling my efforts after DDay 1 of the VLTA did not make her love me. Redoubling again after DDay 2 did not make her love me either.



First off, Dr Harley does not say that his program works in a marriage where one spouse refuses or refuses to participate. Where does he ever guarantee to FORCE your spouse to fall in love against her will? That is ridiculous.

You are setting false standards for Dr Harley's program and then declaring his program a failure by these arbitrary, insane standards.

What Dr Harley does recommend for marriages where one spouse refuses to participate in a program of recovery is PLAN B to be vacated only when the WS agrees to participate in the program. You did not do that.

You can't blame Dr Harley for your wife's failure to participate and your failure to utilize Plan B in the manner subscribed.

A program can only work if you work it, Aphelion. I am sorry you and your wife chose to NOT work this program, but that is not Dr Harley's fault.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101