You going out alone in the evening triggers BW.

Is this when you saw the OW?

Did the OW play in the same band as you?

Did you use playing music as a cover for seeing the OW?

Do you need the income from being in this band or is it just a side job?

If you do not need or get income from this band then it's time to say goodbye to the band.


Because you danced and now have to pay the band. You had an affair. Many things have to be given up after an affair thats the price for stepping out.

You going out alone is triggering BW so you are going to have to stop doing things that trigger her.

As trust gets restored after a few years maybe BW will not trigger if you want to play in a band again.

But for now for get about it.