Originally Posted by tst
As children bring their broken toys

With tears for us to mend.

I brought my broken dreams to God

Because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him

In peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

How can you be so slow?

My child, He said

What could I do?

You never did let go.

One of my favorite poems.......

GM, you are still trying to control outcomes. We desire to control outcomes in order for US to look and feel good. Our selfishness drives this desired outcome. It's a selfish habit!

When DWG starts to spiral down quickly, it appears you are still grasping for a good answer, maybe even lies, in order to help change her course and stop the spiral... When all she wants and needs is an honest answer. She may continue to spiral, but you must remain... Honest and Calm! Reassuring and Calm! Peaceful and Calm! Loving and Calm!

Did I mention Calm?

You might want to remember that when you cry out, "look at everything I've done". What DWG is doing, is looking at EVERYTHING you have done.

{{{{{{{{DWG & GM}}}}}}}}}}}

I talked to DWG tonight. She didn't want to. In fact, she was mad that I needed to find out what it was that I had done. She is bone tired of having to spell out to me what any five year old with responsible parents should already have a grasp of. That is exactly what it was. I mean EXACTLY. I wonder if it is too late to grow up at 62. I suppose for occasional people that is a major accomplishment. My time has come. There is a terrific LP that Herbie Hancock wrote and recorded decades ago. The album is called "Speak Like a Child". One of the tunes on it is called "Goodbye to Childhood". I thought I had said goodbye long ago, but I never did. I never let go. It is time. Better late than never, TST. Your poem was on the money and has touched me profoundly. It is exactly what I was looking for. I knew I could count on you. Thanks...with all my heart.

- GM

FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.