Quote:
DWG wants me to be "in love" with her, with all of the overwhelming feelings that entails, but I cannot feel that as long as I can only feel shame, remorse, and even fear of what DWG's mood will be from day to day. I am 100% dedicated to learning to meet her most important EN's, hoping that if I do that long enough, many years most likely, she will be able to put aside enough memories of the past to move on.


This is all very typical Passive/Aggressive philosophy.

me me me me me me me me me

It's not my fault

It's somebody else's fault

she does this and she does that poor me what do I do

I can't, because of her

I'm just a victim

but that's good because victims have no consequences (or shouldn't)

Quote:
She claims that she will never be able to heal further unless I am "in love" with her. Somehow, I must feel what a spouse feels when all of their EN's are being met, and their LB deposits have a brimming balance, when really, this kind of thing is no longer possible for her, because of what I did.


Again - me me me me me

what about MY emotional needs

I can't give her what she needs but that's her fault

poor poor me I'm a victim

You claim to love your wife, yet turn right around above and say that She's Not Doing Enough For You You You

GM, the bottom line is this:

Once you pull your head out of being a Sneaky 11-Year-Old BOY Who Got Caught and is (still) Desperately Trying to Avoid Consequences By Making Excuses and Blaming Others

and

You start behaving like a responsible adult MAN who UNSELFISHLY cares for the ones who depend on him without worrying about the reward and without worrying about how long it might take

then you might see some progress.


Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.