Originally Posted by Mrs_Vanilla
And no expectations. It's unnecessary pressure, and it appears to affect you greatly when things aren't always sunshine and roses. That, in turn, affects DWG. Not in a good way.

One thing my BH said to me a number of months into recovery was that my emotional mess-ness was not reassuring. The emotional instability was working directly counter to our recovery.

Just something else to think about.

So true. You are spot on.

FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.