Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by GreenMile
I meant nothing bad by using the term "giddy" when describing the feeling of being head over heels in love. It is part of that feeling and describes the same thing that Dr. Harley describes in his books about falling in love. It does not mean that it is foolish, dumb, or less valuable than it is. I would give up an arm and a leg to be back there feeling giddy about DWG. In fact, there are times on this roller coaster when I do feel that, but instead of telling her that like I should, I just feel it. It is something else again that I need to work on.

Has it ever occurred to you, that DWG has NEVER experienced romantic love the entire duration of your M? While you have .... just not with DWG, your wife.

She doubts that it is possible.
With good reason.

Well, it does occur to me in a big way now, and this thought has been devastating to her. But what focusing on this has done is make me get past the acute problem and really examine my feelings about DWG, and there is nothing lacking there. In fact, it is overwhelming. I have been suppressing it, which is a longstanding problem for me, which became a habit. I am learning to recognize and acknowledge my feelings and communicate it to her better. I really do think we have been making some sort of breakthrough on this, Pepperband. I know that you care for her a great deal, and I am grateful for your friendship to her and your help to me as well. Things are looking up.

Last edited by GreenMile; 08/15/10 01:11 PM.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.