Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by GreenMile
Thanks for the link. I saved it as pdf and will read it later. I have heard of the book, and DWG has told me about it relation to me. I cannot tell a lie, PB smile. It is me, or at least one form of it. I have had this problem all my life. It was enabled and handed to me, but as an adult, it is my responsibility to identify and correct such things. It has about destroyed a beautiful human being and caused untold pain. I have looked in the other direction to explain my problems, and avoided my issues entirely. I believe it is a form or true mental or emotional illness. In the course of breaking down and rebuilding myself, this has come into painful focus, but I am facing it full on and dealing with it. This program is my chief source of doing this at this point.

Here is a compliment (and, I don't give compliments unless deserved)

You chose well when you chose to title this thread:
Breaking old patterns

My size 7 on your backside is NOT done to make me feel better about myself ... I want to help you achieve your stated goal ...Breaking old patterns

.... and when you try to deflect to a conversation about little white social lies .... I will have no qualms about kicking you back to your purpose.

I am glad you have no qualms, Pepperband. It isn't always easy and not fun to hear it, but because of the emotional reaction that has been patterned from hearing it from DWG, it definitely helps to get the size 7 placed by an independent observer. I know that is why you do it, and that is why I am here. Don't feel bad about it at all. Even if I get a little PO'ed about it for 20 minutes or so, that reaction goes away rapidly, and I end up better for it. Believe it or not, PB, I depend on it.

FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.