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When I suddenly got the compulsion to click the "message" button and explain why I was not going to accept that friend request, the only thing that crossed my mind was that I wanted her to not think I was being a jerk for not friending her.

You were concerned with what Facebook Woman would think of you, so that's what you acted on.

If you were concerned with what DWG would think of you, *that's* what you would have acted on.

You can't have it all. You can't connect with every woman you meet, much as you have tried, and expect to have a rewarding marriage with a happy wife.

Either your wife comes first or she doesn't. In this case, once again, she didn't. She was expected to just disappear while you got strokes and attention from some other woman. I guess she was supposed to be happy for you that some woman made you feel good, and you can't understand why she wasn't?

Mommy is happy when girls are nice to her little boy. A wife is devastated when other woman are allowed to "be nice" to her husband (that is, to fill his ENs.)

That's how you've run your "marriage" for years and years - though the truth is, of course, that DWG has been married and you have not. Worrying about what Facebook Woman thinks of you instead of what your wife thinks of you is proof that you are still not married.

Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.