I am horrible at DJ's and your story is a good example of one. It may be an expectation or a want I have from my wife. These expectations and wants are only wishes that I have no control over and more than likely I have never told my wife about. If my un-communicated wishes are not met then I get resentful and DJ. Here is an example of how I resisted DJing my wife because of an expectation that I had.

Just two days ago was DS4 first soccer practice, and sapph took a message from the city park & rec. about where and when soccer practice would be. At least she got the time right, but told me to take him to the wrong park. I arrive at a deserted park at exactly 5:00, but no one was there. The deserted park was next to the parks and rec. department, but they were closed. I drove all over looking for the right park. I finally found it and was 35 min late. I also found out my boy needed shin guards and cleets the first day of practice. I was really upset at sapph because I blamed her for this mess. I really wanted to DJ her really good.

Instead, I let her know that it upset me that she told me to go to the wrong park, but I didn't hold it over her head because I could have made the same mistake. I also asked her to help pay for the cleets. She agreed to help me, I was happy, and I can only assume that sapph was happy. I tried my hardest not to DJ, I communicated my frusteration in a good way, and we were both happy.