Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by markos
but I will let you know that in Christian theology, a person isn't redeemed in the eyes of God by doing good from now on, no matter how much they may do. It is as if you tried to clean a dirty, oily rag with pure water. You can wash and wash and wash, but the oil is still in the rag and it is still filthy. (Because you took a swim in dirty oil. We all did.) Washing that rag clean is going to require soap. Very special Soap.


The fact is that in Christian theology the whole idea of you redeeming yourself in the eyes of God by your actions is massively blasphemous.

However, redeeming yourself in the eyes of your wife? That is completely Christian, and I believe it is exactly what God wants. But to do that you will have to tailor yourself to HER perspective, not to some perspective which you imagine belongs to God and is therefore omniscient and objective.

Her feelings are the key.

Markos, I kind of addressed this in my last response to you after you already wrote these other posts. Please re-read the original. There is no need to argue any of those things with me, because I agree with you. In my post, I was explaining, or tried to explain, that these thought processes have been wrong, and based on a process in my head that is a neurotic fantasy, with no basis in reality. I write scenes in my head that no one cares to be actors or actresses in. By doing this, everything that happens in life has been forced into this model, and so it ends up revolving around me, because it is my own little theatrical production. This, I believe, has been the root cause of all problems. I also recognize that it is something that my mother did all the time, though she was a very sweet woman. It is becoming no mystery to me how I learned to do this, but it also gives me no illusions about how daunting is the road ahead at getting rid of it completely.

FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.