I know this sounds kind of dumb, and I wasn't going to post it, but DWG thought I should, because this time we both did something right:

I was cleaning the floors last night in prep for a visit from friends from Hawaii. I swept the mountains of dog and cat hair that collect in no time and then was going over with attachments from the vacuum. A large, free-standing window screen fell over, and before I could catch it, it fell onto and destroyed a glass pedestal bowl that DWG's best friend's mother had given to us at our wedding and which survived raising two boys. I felt devastated. DWG felt awful and momentarily angry. My first reaction in horror was to go into a depressed "I can't do anything right" scenario in my head, hoping for some validation and comfort and telling me I was "not a bad boy" coming from DWG. Her first reaction was to get incredibly angry and nail me to the wall for not caring about things that are important to her. Instead, I removed myself from the room, meditated, and consciously collected myself and made myself not create that scenario in my head. DWG greatly limited her negative reaction, and we succeeded in being mature adults. Seems like a little thing, but after the last week (and all those years) maybe it was not so little. She wanted me to post this. Big deal LOL.

Last edited by GreenMile; 08/21/10 12:28 PM.

FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.