Thanks all for the ideas! This isn't really new to me. DDay#1 for me was 5/2/2001, WW was resistant to putting in any work back although she did cut off contact with OM at that time (I did buy HNHN back then, didn't know about SAA). OM found her on facebook in april this year and for 3 weeks they texted, did whatever it is you do on facebook, and did a little bit of talking on the phone before his wife found out (she had his phone and she received my wife's text).

This is the first time I've been going through a real recovery and I do have real hope. I have relived so much of the same pain as from 9 years ago. I guess it's easier this time (well, I haven't been suicidal at all this time) but hurt is still hurt.

We have two girls, 14 and 16. I suppose this 'wake up call' is kind of a good thing as I had been thinking of separating when both kids were out of high school. During the past 9 years I've had lingering thoughts about the A. I wonder if those will lessen or fade away after recovery...

Anyway, I will definitely apply these ideas. Oh, I do have lots of up times too, not just down times.