Hey, I was only in for 5 days! I've got some catchin' up to do!

Just kidding, of course - and yes, I sure do agree with you that lawsuits for pain and suffering ought to be part of this.

Any spouse who is really and truly not happy in the marriage always has the option to simply leave and file. That's one thing - but they hardly ever do that.

It's not so much the leaving *in itself* that causes the damage. It's the fact that the WS tries to have both a marriage *and* a single life all at the same time. It's the lies, neglect and gaslighting that goes on while the WS decides to have cake and eat it, too. That is a dreadful way to treat another human being - just as part of a crowd to serve his/her needs - and *that* is where the damage comes in.

The BS should be able to sue the WS for Gross Marital Neglect, and sue the OP for Gross Marital Intrusion. Forget "alienation of affection" - everybody just laughs at that. But Neglect and Intrusion - well, the average person might actually understand that.

I'm totally with you Mulan. Nobody would treat a stranger like that but they have no problem doing so to their spouse. I still think waywardism is a yet-to-be recognized mental illness. If not, then the wayward IS committing premeditated Gross Marital Neglect.

To stray a little bit here, it occurred to me that another problem with marriage these days is that it has become so commercial, its meaning is becoming lost, much in the same way as Christmas has. Weddings represent an entire industry now and there's more pressure than ever on young brides to have the all-time spectacular event for their wedding. So rather than preparing for an entire life together, couples are distracted by choices of wines and flowers, dj vs. band and where to have their photographs taken. So much energy and effort goes into the wedding day and virtually no attention whatsoever to life afterwards. No wonder so many fail. I bet if you asked any of them (myself included) they would easily trade their wedding day event for better preparation for the actual marriage.

Oh, yes. There is a massive disconnect between Wedding and Marriage. As you said, the wedding industry is gigantic and there several cable TV shows on 24/7 about weddings.

But marriage is a joke. Nobody takes it seriously. Partners are as replaceable as old cars and infidelity is practically expected (the most common response to Tiger Woods' behaviour is, "so what? all men cheat.")

It would be laughable if it wasn't so destructive. Nobody is entitled to a spouse, but many act like they are - and entitled to torment them if they want. If you want to date around, then STAY SINGLE. Problem solved.

BINGO! I had a recent attempt too. My psychologist said I was one of the worst cases of emotional abuse he has seen.

Yeah, so we should be able to sue there sorry butts!!!!!!!