Originally Posted by writer1
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
Ditto for those women who have children out of wedlock and don't allow the father to be part of the child's life. You would blame the father for this?

And who's to say it isn't the man's fault that this is happening? It certainly was in my case. I kept the bio father of my older kids away because he was unfit to raise children. He was a danger to others and to himself. After he got himself arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and started threatening to commit suicide and talking about having himself committed to a mental institution, I'm glad I finally woke up and threw him out of our lives for good. Having now met him as adults, so are my older children. They tried to let him back into their lives many years later and ultimately had to cut off contact with him again because apparently he still hasn't changed.

There may be a very valid and good reason why women choose to exclude men from their children's lives. Not in every case, certainly, but vilifying all women and victimizing all men, as a few bitter posters on this thread seem determined to do, hardly seems justified.

I did what I did because I love my kids and I didn't want someone dangerous and destructive in their lives. Yeah, what a terrible feminazi that must make me.

Hey! He should have married my best friend's sister!

Her first 2 with her XH are in his full custody, her 3rd is in the custody of the father, and her 4th is in a closed adoption.

Of course, both of these are extreme cases, aren't they? More examples of the exception, and not the norm?

A lot of men will cow down to the mother of their children out of fear; fear that they will cut them out of the lives of their children. They do this with the idea that the legal system will support the mother in doing so.

It's true. In that case, she had jeopardized the safety of her children NUMEROUS times before custody was relinquished.

However, I won't buy it. Guys... man up. It's pretty simple. When you have visitation, it is a legal right. If she denies it, you simply file a police report.

Document, document, document. It goes both ways.

Back to the OT, let's not red herring the conversation, eh?

We don't have to do the victimize/vilify cycle here, because doing so is employs broad, sweeping generalizations which only really apply to minorities in either gender.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR