Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
When I see the majority of those fighting actually winning, I'll believe it's worth the fight. Right now, that's not the case.

So you will only fight if a majority wins? Then your premise simply becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. A majority seem to surrender before the battle, so of course, if the majority surrenders, then of course, the majority will lose. I doubt that the many BH's who WON their marriages back or won a favorable settlement in divorce feel it was not "worth it."

I don't know how many do lose, but I do know that those who don't try are guaranteed to lose. A majority will lose if a majority don't try.

If everyone used your philosophy of only try something if winning is guarateed, then no one would ever win. And nothing would ever change. I sure would not be sober for 26 years this April if I believed that since only 1 in 10 alcoholics die sober. Most never remain sober longer than 5 years.

I fought, I lost, there is no way I'd advise anyone to fight, period. If I got a different result, I'd give a different recommendation.

If something works for you, you recommend it. If it doesn't work, then one cannot in good conscience recommend it. I am giving the only logical recommendation I can give given my experienced results. If you want to change my mind, change my result.

Your comparison to alcoholism is an apples to oranges comparison. Your decision to drink or not drink is entirely yours, not dependent upon the choices of another person. The outcome of any legal battle or relationship issue is not dependent only upon your actions. Therefore, it's not a valid comparison.

If it were my behavior and only my behavior considered, then I'd think I'd end up the winner. However, I don't get to decide. Therefore, I simply recommend not ending up in a place where someone else decides your fate.

Then and only then can it be just like your battle with alcohol, which is essentially a battle with your own behavior.

Last edited by Enlightened_Ex; 03/05/11 12:59 PM.