I think what EE is saying/meaning is this:

If you play the "game" by your soon-to-be ex-whatever's rules....you're going to lose...guaranteed.

EE says that *IF* you are going to fight them over anything (especially custody)...you need to change the rules of the game to your advantage...you need to change the "landscape" of the battlefield to suit you.

When they say "all is fair in love and war" it especially goes for war...which is what some custody battles are, from what I know.

Everything is fair game in a fight.
You can't be afraid to do whatever is necessary to win.

Was watching "The Deerhunter" last night...and the last bit of discussion made me think of it.

When "Mike" and "Nikki" were POW's and playing Russian Roulette....Mike knew what he had to do in order to have a chance at survival: he had to get more bullets in the gun. He had to change the rules of the game, and change the battlefield to give him an advantage. He use psychological warfare to distract (all his laughing).

He had no fear when it came to doing what was necessary in order to have the opportunity to escape.

And when the opportunity came about...he acted swiftly and devastatingly.

I too have read Sun Tzu...amazing stuff....and you really can apply his teachings to many aspects of life.

So if you're going to fight...for whatever it may be in life....fight to win. Do what it takes, because if you don't, you won't.

Just my 2 cents tonight.