Originally Posted by Tawandabelle
I have slept at various times in my life. I have done the autopilot thing, which didn't work. Then I kind of beat my conscience into sleep and made terrible choices. Then I sort of tried the "sir,yes sir!" mode of sleep. One thing was common about all three -- I wasn't thinking. God gave me a brain....and instead of using it I put it on a shelf.

Dr. Seuss' birthday was this week (my teacher-ness is coming out smile ). One of my favorite of his books is Hooray for Diffendoofer Day. In it, a great imaginative creative school is told that they have to take a test, and if they fail it, they will have to go to a school in horrible Flobbertown (a sad, empty gray place where "everyone does everything the same") Mr. Flibber encourages them not to lose heart. She tells them that they'll be able to answer every question because:

"We've taught you that the world is round,
And red and white make pink;
And something else that matters MORE:
We've taught you HOW TO THINK!"

Anytime we just.....do without thinking, whether it's on autopilot or an impulsive wayward following their feelings, or even a teenager trying to "follow the crowd"......we are asleep.

I agree, a teenager "following the crowd" can have serious repercussions. Thankfully, most of the people that show up at Marriage Builders are adults and can think for themselves.

I was brought up in a very strict Christian home. My dad was a pastor and around our house it was usually his way or the highway. I rebelled as a teenager because I chose to follow the crowd. What I didn't realize until much later in life is that although my dad's delivery may have been harsh and stern, his message was the truth.

Around here (at MB), we're gonna hit newbies betrayed spouses hard with the MB message because they ARE desperate and hurting. The intent is to apply CPR, stop the bleeding and then minister to the wound. Someone coming into ER severely wounded can't really think clearly.

When an active wayward shows up, we'll do the same for them. Clearly, their best thinking doesn't serve them well.

EE has been around for awhile. Yes, he speaks from a position of hurt and pain, who wouldn't in his shoes? But it would be a disservice to those who come behind him and read this thread to only hear his message. This is Marriage Builders after all.

I'm beginning to wonder though if this thread should really be under Marriage Builders 101, because it's clearly not about that anymore.

Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story