Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
Originally Posted by HerPapaBear
How, you might ask?
By expecting her to compromise them for the sake of what YOU want!!

She is willing to tell you what she is entusiastic about, and you are shooting down her honesty.....

I think you're being a bit rough on the guy. I think he's having a hard time understanding POJA. In a way, POJA is a comprimise between both parties to reach a solution that is mutually fulfilling. I know no one likes the word compromise on here.

Look KT, this guy hasn't even begun to restore love to his marriage and he's wanting to POJA a heavy issue like a job change??? I wasn't being hard on him at all.... I didn't even get into the fact that his first post on this thread was setting us up so we could see how unreasonable his wife is...

Without restoring romantic love in a marriage, POJA quickly turns into Disrespectful Judgements accompanied by Angry Outbursts and Selfish Demands.
This is why ML suggested he practice POJA in the grocery store... It's SO MUCH safer to begin with small items!

Until Romantic Love is acheived in a marriage, there is typically NO CARE and NO PROTECTION of one anothers feelings during POJA.
And until this love is restored, POJA can often end up becoming no more than a power struggle that creates more resentment.





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.