Originally Posted by Chuck8464
My son (19 years old and in college) has sent me an e-mail letter stating that if I wish to see him again I will write him a letter detailing dates and times that I was with the other woman (it was a co-worker and the affair is over). I love him very much but struggling with how much and what to divulge and not include. He heard some general things from his sisters who got them from my wife and he wants me to "come clean" I have no problem being honest with my poor decisions and the pain and turmoil I inflicted on him and wife and daughters. I just don't think "fine details" are appropriate. Any advice from someone having to do something similar or someone who has a hunch?
Chuck seems to be long gone from these shores, but still... (edit: I see you are back, Chuck! Good!)

His original post said that the request was for a letter "detailing dates and times I was with the other woman". That's all Chuck told us.

Chuck himself said that he did not feel that "fine details" are appropriate. I don't know what Chuck meant by "fine details" - fine details for the dates and times? - but it doesn't seem to me that his son was asking about the flavour of lubricants. I don't know how it's possible to read that into what the son apparently wrote. Neither do I think it is correct to characterise this young man as "arrogant", "superior" or a "presumptuous little brat".

I suspect that the young man wants to know whether his father ever used him as cover for his affair. Was he visiting his OW when he paid him a flying visit several months ago? Did he tell his wife, the boy's mother, that he was visiting their son for days, when really he stayed for an afternoon and spent the rest of the time with OW?

I suspect that he wants to know whether he was used, and I don't see anything arrogant, superior, presumptuous or bratty about that.

Last edited by SugarCane; 11/11/11 02:04 PM.

BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.