and not have to do any entertaining on the weekend?!"), and is set on leaving Fri, coming home briefly on Sat for daughter's party, then leaving again, to return Sun or Mon. I want the little girl to enjoy the focus of her birthday.

No, I'm thinking of exposing on Mon 28 May -- my "E-Day".

Seriously, though, I'm looking for "best-practice" here: do you "reveal your source" by showing the evidence, or not? And is my evidence scant, or substantive?

Thanks, but I'm not sure I understand, MelodyLane: "explain" to whom - to WS, or to Exposure audience?

Remember, I have evidence of a relationship, not of co-habitation. WS doesn't know I now have that evidence (screenshots of Facebook and email arguments between WS and OM): she is in blissful ignorance of the fact that I am NOT in blissful ignorance of her doings.

She doesn't announce she's off to shag or shack with some other guy -- she just leaves, and when I ask, she'll name one of three girl friends with whom she'll be "partying, then crashing".

Delay is immediately for daughter's party, and secondarily for possible approach to step-son's biological father, who'd verbally said he'd like son to live with him in Australia. My focus/agenda is securing exclusive custody of my daughter.

Thanks:)

I cannot claim genius for the web page - someone else gave me the idea. (It helps to work with a group of brilliant teachers who find the most amazing things. Most of us acquire a knack for tapping into amazing FREE things, as well:) I, honestly, am a bit technologically challenged. It took me probably 2 hours to set it up when all was said and done. Someone gifted at computers could probably do it much faster. It's very simple.


SETTING UP A WEB SITE:

*All you have to do is go to weebly.com. Enter name, email, set a password, and click "sign up." You might want to set up a new email to link to it, not use your regular one. People viewing your site do not have access to your email. It's mainly just for login, I think. But I set up a new one anyway, just for my own peace of mind.

It walks you through the steps. You name your site. You can do only 1 page, or add as many as you want. It's already formatted nicely, my friends thought it was a professional website that I had just posted to. You can enter text, and upload photos from your computer.

It gives an option to set up a blog. I would strongly advise against that. If you do a blog, other people can post comments, etc. You don't want this to turn into a mud-slinging or 10,000 questions site. You want the impact to be - here's the evidence, see what you need to see, have a nice day. You want to stay in control of it, not open it up to other people (supportive or unsupportive). I didn't put OW's name on the site at first, but people told me I needed to so it would be clear who she was.

I did include a couple of comments, but mostly I wanted the impact to be from the evidence, not me shooting off at the mouth. I also received feedback to include her maiden name, her whole name as it appears on Facebook, so high school friends would still recognize her. I scanned in a card from her to my husband with just a simple message, about love and forever:) in HER handwriting, and then a few pictures. Enough to get the point across. Be reasonably tasteful.

I can't find exactly where it is without going through all the steps again, but near the end there is an option to "set search engines." DON'T do that. You want it to be a private site that someone can't just look for - they have to have a direct link.

You can go back in and edit anytime - add or remove pages, photos, etc. If you leave it open and don't log out, it will appear as something like, "site maintenance underway, currently unavailable, check back." If you ever need to turn it off for a bit for some reason (in my case, I was trying to get a more incriminating photo) that makes it unavailable to people, but shows them they can come back.

Make sure you have a strong password, maybe reset it often - that's easy to do as well (and another reason for setting up a new email as your username, one that people do not know). It will show you the website link at the end.

I put a note at the bottom of my exposure letter that said, "I am not going to subject anyone to images they do not want to see. If you want to see proof of this affair you can go to: website." FB automatically posts it as a link.

JOEneedshelp:

My position on exposure to children has been consistent over the years for a host of reasons: Tell them about the affair as soon as you discover it. The primary reason for this type of exposure is that they should know eventually anyway, even if the marriage is on the road to recovery, because it gives them accurate information about what their mom and dad are going through. If the marriage is headed for recovery, the unfaithful spouse is usually willing to go along with the revelation. But if the affair is still ongoing, or if the recovery is not very solid, the unfaithful spouse will resist the exposure, and become very upset when it's made. Then, it's especially important to expose the affair to the children because it generally speeds up the death of the affair. Affairs don't always die a natural death, but exposure speeds up whatever would have happened without it.

Joyce is correct in observing that it's a tough call when the children are 6 and 4, and she tells me that she didn't say not to tell them, but left if up to Joe's judgment. But my position has been that, tough or not, it's the right thing to do. When the marriage is recovered, it's a great lesson for the children to explain how vulnerable parents are to this very insidious enemy of marriage.

Moved to SAA at request of OP.